Most Embarassing / Funny Thing Your Dog Has Ever Done to You

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Most Embarassing / Funny Thing Your Dog Has Ever Done to You

Postby Swamp Puppy » Tue Apr 19, 2005 9:37 pm

What is the most embarassing thing your dog has ever done to you? You know darn well they do this stuff on purpose too. I'm sure they brag about it back in the kennel.

Well, here is mine. I almost hate to tell it because it is pretty damn disgusting to tell ya the truth.

towards the end of last season i was taking 2 highschool kids out for a hunt on a public WMA near here. Sauvie Island for those that know where that is. as we were leaving the parking lot one of the boys mentioned that he needed to take a crap, but didn't want to use the portable toilets. (i don't blame him i guess..)

so, while we are setting up dekes he wanders off into the woods to take care of business. we get set up and as first light approaches we are getting ready to get into our blind. i could help but smell the aroma in the air and began giving him a hard time about the distance he chose to go relieve himself.

we sat in the blind..the boys on my right and the dog on my left. the smell was much stronger now and i was suspecting that the boy hadn't used the paper i had provided him. ducks had just set down about 50 yards out and were making some noise. i put my left arm around the dog and held him to keep him from breaking after the birds outside the dekes.

10 minutes to shoot time..i let go of the dog and grab my call. as i bring my hand up to my face and begin to call the "aroma" suddenly hits me...STRONG.

it all became clear in one big rush..the dog, loose while we were setting up..had found the 'pile' and decided to roll in it. he was covered. his entire neck and shoulder region was matted with human crap. me, while holding him, had managed to transfer this crap to my jacket, hands, and calls.

as i drug the dog out into the water for a good rinsing all i could hear was the boys chiding me because i was scaring the ducks away at first light. they are dang lucky i left my gun in the blind. lol.
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Postby harvey1b » Tue Apr 19, 2005 10:08 pm

holy $h!t, that's funny! I don't have anything that can follow that. you set the bar pretty high!
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Postby dukhnter7 » Tue Apr 19, 2005 10:49 pm

When my pup was young, he had a habit of breaking on the shot. I told my buddy to hang onto the leash while I snuck up on a teal that was just out of range. I get up close enough and take the teal as he gets up. Next thing I know, my dog goes flying past me for the retrieve. I look back at the blind and my buddy is face down about 10 feet outside the blind. My dog drug him out and thru some mud before he let go of the leash! :laughing:
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Postby TGL1298 » Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:22 am

Hats off to anyone that can top that story Swamp Puppy.

Last year I took my puppy to a game fair for the first time, and decided I would run him in one of the events they offered. He got two timed runs to retrieve a training dummy, and the fastest time at the end of the day wins. Both times I sent him on the retrieve he would find the bumper, but would not retrieve it. As I'm standing in front of the crowd wondering what's going on with my dog I here a couple chuckles. I turn around to see my dog taking a dump in the middle of the field, and if I didn't know any better I'd say he was actually posing for the pictures.
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Postby Dogman » Wed Apr 20, 2005 6:25 am

Years ago when I was still in high school,I took my first lab out to a small coastal marsh down the road from my parents house.We had just started out onto the marsh when he catches a smell on the wind and charges out to the main channel about 200 yards out.As much as I tried I could not get him to come back.I had no Idea what he was after untill he got close to his target.
At first allI could make out was a grayish/white object on the edge of the marsh,but as I got closer I could see that it was a huge,rotted bluefin tunahead that had washed up from the local fish processing plant.
Before I could get to him he started rolling in it quite vigorously untill he was slathered in tuna head goo!
I washed him off adozen times at the marsh and three more times at home,he never did seem to understand that the smell wasn't a good one.Must have figured us humans are not to refined when it comes to a good aroma!
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Postby gsphunter » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:48 am

Wow Swampy that would be just about enought to call it a day. Haven't had to much embarassing stuff yet just stuff that my dog does that gets me :pissed: . I'm sure I'll be embarassed sooner or later though, especially by my male. He seems to look for stuff to roll in every time I take him to the field.
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Postby Swamp Puppy » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:14 am

lol..yeah, that was pretty damn embarassing.

another one happened just recently. a local labrador club that a good friend of mine belongs to was hosting a training day for pup's and other new dogs to work towrds their hunting tests.

now, my dog has had a full year of hunting ducks and pheasants. he has made over 200 retrieves for ducks and rounded up plenty of ringnecks. my buddy was bragging about how good of a hunter he is to all the other people there with their "rookie" dogs that have never been around a shot or in a real hunting scenario.

(a little side note: my son was born in late december and recently my dog has not had much time to get out and play or work. to say that he has a lot of pent up energy is a huge understatement. )

so, we line up and the guy launches a dead duck about 100 yards out. my dog marks it..waits to be sent..then hauls *** out to the duck like a champ. 'oooohhs' and 'aaaahhs' from the crowd as my 'boy' is obviously going to show them all how it is done. he gets the duck..and with a fling of his big 'ol meat head..tosses it about 30 feet up and out into the field..where he then runs over to it...pisses on it...then tears off after some random dog he sees wandering around in a field about 1/4 mile away.

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needless to say i was ready to go home....
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Postby 98ramtough » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:56 am

Dang swamp, both those stories are hard to even post after.

I have a few of them.

I was outside with my dad and a friend was over, he had bought a new motor bike. This guy came over really drunk talking and bragging about his new bike he had also just bought. I listened to the guy slurring his words for about 10 minutes and was hoping the guy would shut up and leave. Just as I was thinking that my dog went over to him, lifted his leg and pissed on his new leathers. I about crapped myself laughing...

Lets see, then my other dog, the female lab. On her first hunt I take her out, as I am throwing the decoys she is getting really hyped and wanting to go swimming BAD. I get all setup about an hour before shooting time. I let the dog off to run some piss and viniger out of her. First single greenhead comes in, 25 yards, dead and belly up in the pocket. I release the lab to go after the duck. She B-lines for a decoy, she licked the first couple dozen on one half of the spread. I mean swam up to each individual decoys, stuck out her neck and LICKED the dang decoy. She licked like 24 of them, then on her way back in she grabbed the duck and brought it to me. I could see on the face of her, like "look dad, I found this on the way back from kissing the ducks". So then the next bird comes in, another single greenhead. I shoot once and the duck is again, belly up kicking his feet in the middle of the pocket. I line her up and send her after the duck. She immediately B-lines for the other half of the decoys she missed. She licked the other half of my spread. Swam right up to each decoy, stuck her head out and licked them. Then on the way back, she again grabbed the duck and brought it back to me.

The best for me so far was thanksgiving at the new Inlaws house. We are just sitting down to a nice dinner, china and fancy silverware everywhere. Grandma inlaw and everyone is gathered around the table. Just as we are starting to get served I look out the picture window directly behind us and my female is mounting my male dog. Paws to shoulder going to town. We all had a pretty good laugh over that one. I don't think I will ever live that down....

Damn dogs, I bet they do it on purpose!

:toofunny:
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Postby gsphunter » Wed Apr 20, 2005 11:15 am

I guess I'll share one of my pissed moments since everyone else is sharing there embarassing stories.

I went out to my first NAVHDA training day with my dog when she was about 7 months old. She had never been around any body or any other dog training. I had her down at a pond after she ran in the bird field so she could cool down. Well the first shot she heard back in the bird field, she decided she didn't need any cooling down. She made a b-line for where she heard that shot to go find the downed bird. The guy that was running his dog drug her back to me by her collar and like Swampy said "I was ready to go home." I was so pissed at her because I had just met all these people too. I guess now I can look back and laugh about it though.

Lesson learned. OBEDIENCE is the best thing to have in a dog, because believe me, I was telling her to come but I found out my OB wasn't solid, and it wasn't the most pleasant way to find out.
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Postby Swamp Puppy » Wed Apr 20, 2005 11:59 am

GSP..yeah, nothing like running around waving your arms and screaming at your dog to COME!! HEEEEEEL!!!! COME DAMMIT!!! to help you make new "friends" at a dog outing. :thumbsup:

98RAM - love the dog licking the dekes. man i wish i could have seen that.
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Postby donell67 » Wed Apr 20, 2005 3:26 pm

pretty funny/gross stories. my cousins dog would bark at incoming ducks. we had to cover our deposits well or he would roll in it also.
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Postby 870 » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:39 pm

Swamp Puppy, to funny, No ones topping that crap story, mine wasn’t embarrassing, but funny. Late last season one of my sons and I went whistler hunting. We had a fish duck buzzing our spread. My son said, “Dad if he comes by one more time I’m tripping him up”. I told him, he’s going on your bag limit. Well he came through and he tripped him up.

I opened the door from my boat blind and told my Chessie to “fetch” He hit the water, swam to the duck and…stopped, he starred at that fish duck then looked at me. I said, “Fetch it up” He grabbed the duck and began his return, as he came near the boat I opened the door and…he swam right by the boat straight to shore.

By this time I’m confused, this isn’t Max, who’s dog is this I’m thinking. He walks up on shore looks at us drops the duck and like your dog. He lifts his leg and wizzes all over that worthless fish duck. By this time my son says to me “ WHATS HE DOING” My response “he’s letting you know what he thinks about you shooting that fish duck. After he finished he swims back to the boat, climbs in and sits down.

After Max sat down I said to my son that shows the difference between Labs and Chessies. A Lab would of made the retrieve and released on command, then sat waiting for the next command. Chessies on the other hand, will let you know when you do something stupid. We still laugh about that.
Last edited by 870 on Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Tad » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:19 pm

Last Fall my then 10-month old CLF, Belle, and I were working on our first leg of her AKC Junior title in Cheltenham, MD. We had already failed two previous tests and worked very hard to iron-out the problems (which were mostly me). Anyhow, we went to the line for our first run of the day, an easy 75 yard mark on the side of a small slope. After the bird was launched and landed in clear view, I released Belle and she tore out toward the bird on a good line...a "give-me", or so I thought. Belle gets to the bird and stops before performing her initial sniff (a habit that we eventually broke). Before I realize it, she picks up another scent and begins to wander away from the bird. She doesn't wander too far before running all the way back to me at almost top speed and comes to "heel" before sitting. At this point I've still have not said a word. I look down at her and she up at me when all of a sudden she gets a look on her face like "Ah sh*t, I forgot something". Without so much as a word or signal from me, she tears out back towards the bird, picks it up on the run, and quickly returns it to hand. I nervously hand the duck to the Judge who simply states, "Uh...now that was different".

Well, to make a long story short, we successfully completed 3 more retrieves and received our first Rosetta. By the end of the day my initial utter surprise and embarrassment turned into excitement and glee. We passed the next 3 tests and earned her Junior title shortly before her 1st birthday.
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Postby Swamp Puppy » Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:32 am

870 - LOL!!! i saw a buddy of mines lab pass on picking up a cormorant. (yes, they are endangered...yes, i was witness to it's demise...yes, it was an accident...no, i didn't shoot it.) the dog ran out to get it..took one good sniff and came back to the blind and sat down.
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Postby gahunter » Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:27 pm

Swamp Puppy wrote:870 - LOL!!! i saw a buddy of mines lab pass on picking up a cormorant. (yes, they are endangered...yes, i was witness to it's demise...yes, it was an accident...no, i didn't shoot it.) the dog ran out to get it..took one good sniff and came back to the blind and sat down.

How the hell those things are endangered I don't know. Every time I have been hunting in LA and MS, I have seen more of those damn things than ducks. These tales of woe are friggin' hillarious. Keep'em coming. :getdown:
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Postby Greg Wile » Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:08 pm

I took a dog that my oldest daughter had out on a goose hunting trip a few years ago. The dog would retreive well but his OB left much to be desired. Any ways I got into the lake that we were going to hunt and left the dog in the truck (cab) I got all the gear out and loaded the canoe up then went to get the dog, the smell was enough to gag a maggot he $h_t onthe truck seat the sat and walked in it then sat on my hunting coat on top of that when I opened the door he promptly ran and jumped into the canoe with all the gear. I finally got him and the truck and gear washed off some then headed for the blind. I just got the decoys set and the canoe up on shore and the gear , guns for me and my buddy in the blind when in come the geese. About 75 or so and they land right in front of the blind. Here I am trying to hold the dog down get a gun out of the zipped up case and then load it all the while wondering where my partner is when I hear a car door close and see him pop up over the dam with his lab. He sees the geese and ducks back in the woods and gets his single shot 12 out of his car and sneaks up to where he can get a shot at the geese. His lab toles some in close enough for him to get and then we flush and fire getting 5 between us using a single and a s/s. The dog I took did retreive one of my decoys but not a goose. I never got to use the dog again as my daughter gave him away that week cause he chewed up their coffee table when they went out.
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Postby Swamp Puppy » Sat Apr 23, 2005 11:36 pm

Greg - sounds like my dog and that dog might be related. :toofunny:


gahunter - i may have misspoken on the cormorants. maybe it isn't "endangered", but "protected". anyway, whatever the verbage, we can't shoot the stinkin things. lol.
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Postby 870 » Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:39 am

Swamp Puppy, around here I've heard, that if they fly in range they are "endangered." Now again I've only heard this.
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Postby mfetter » Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:59 am

The only one that Ihave and I (WE) got into alot of trouble for this----I was in college and I had just got my GSP. Well in florida back in the 50s the florida game comission released a buch of ducks called moscovias--They look like a cross between a turkey and a duck(UGLY)--Well most moved out of the everglades mostly becasue they were just gator food there and moved to the thousands of canals that run though south florida. Ok back to the story---I lived in Boca raton Florida(Retirement central)--well this group of about 80yr women would fee these domesticated turkey ducks every morning---I let my gsp out one morning when they were feeding the ducks and my gsp runs through the old ladys grabs one of the ducks and proudly returns it to me.

Oh man they threw a fit--

And I wouldnt do anything but priase him--I was like NO--good boy good boy---bad dog---good by good boy(quietly)
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Postby Swamp Puppy » Sun Apr 24, 2005 4:30 pm

870 - shhhhhhhh.. :yes:


OK, this isn't all that embarassing, but i had to laugh my arse off at this (once i got back in my house)

the guy that lives across the street from me is a BIG guy. probably my height (6'3") and at least 80 pounds heavier than i am..which puts him close to the 300 mark.

anyway, he's got this little white pitbull named Zeus (of course it is..right?) that is really just the kindest dog you would ever want to meet. Zeus is about the same age as Tug (swamp puppy) and about as playfull.

well anyway, Zeus was out today when i returned from the river with Tug. Tug hopped out of the truck and immediately ran across the street to see Zeus who was sitting next to his owner. Tug wasted no time in hopping right up on Zeus and proceeded to hump away..Zeus seemed basically ok with this and just stood there while my dog banged away on him. Zeus' owner, on the other hand, was pretty upset that his big bad pitbull was getting humped by a goofy lab..and was more than a little upset.

i grabbed Tug and hauled him off across the street and took him inside...i couldn't help laughing my arse off at that though. eventhough i was a little peeved that my dog ran off like that.
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Postby 870 » Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:01 pm

Here is one, back in the late 70s when I was dating my wife. When I met her she came with a pair Dobermans and a litter of pups. One Saturday afternoon, we decided to go into the foothills above her house in Ontario Ca. I was driving a club-cab truck; the dogs and pups were behind the seat. Cindy wanted to put one of the pups in the front with us. I said great, so she did. The pup laid there with its head in my lap. All of a sudden I felt this warm feeling in my lap. The pup through up in my lap, bare with me, it was the late 70s and all I was wearing was a tee shirt cut off jeans and flip- flops. I didn’t even own any underwear at the time OK. So I take off my shorts to trap the puke, I use my tee shirt to clean up the mess. You can see wear I’m going, can’t you. There I am butt naked. What would you of done? So I turn the truck around and head for home. I look to Cindy and say “ wouldn’t be funny if I got pulled over” Sure enough about a mile down the road I look up and what do I see, an Ontario city cop with his lights on. I pull over; he approaches the truck and asks me to step out of the truck. I look at him and say I can’t, he says “excuse me, step out of the truck sir” Again I tell him, I can’t, this time I tell him I’m naked. He leans in the window, and begins to laugh. Personally I didn’t think it was all that funny, by this time Cindy’s laughing, the dogs are barking and the cop looks to his partner and yells this guys naked. Then he looks at me and says get out of here. My day is not over with yet, as we drive up to the house Cindy says, slow down I do, she reaches and grabs garage door opener and jumps from the truck and runs into the house. So I pull into the drive way and get out. Cindy by this time comes out with her camera and takes a picture of me, wrapped in puke-covered cloths and as soon as we get a scanner I will post it. Dogs, got love them.
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Postby Dixiejack » Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:08 am

I was running an 8 month old lab our first HRC Started hunt test. We were running first and she was so excited and full of energy that she walked to the line on her hind legs, dragging me. She could not stand being on a lead. We got to the line amonst snickers from the other handlers. She heeled fine at the line, went on my command, and aced both her marks. I put the lead back on and had to drag her away with a lot of applause from the audience. After lunch, we had to do the water marks. We were running third and while in the holding blind she tried to break. As I was grabbing her, I got off balance and fell while wrestling her to the ground. She wound up on top with me holding on for dear life. Naturally we were drawing a big crowd to watch. Finally this guy walked up to me and said loud enough for the crowd to hear "if that dog weighed 10 more pounds, she would whip your ass." That's not all---When the judge called us to the line he said "will dog number 3 drag your handler to the line." She aced the two water marks and we went home with our first ribbon.
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Postby Greg Wile » Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:25 pm

I know this is suposed to be about dogs but any animal can make you embarassed. When I was 17 I entered a barrel race with my old plug of a horse who I had raced before and had turned in decent times with. The rider and horse ahead of me knocked over one of the barrels and the guy that stood the barrel up put it open end up. We cut the first two barrels in real good time but when we got to the third one Bud my horse put the brakes on and stuck his head down in the barrel. Man was I embarassed. We got to redo the race due to the barrel being open end up and having been used as a feed storage drum before the race and we came home with third place out of 16 horse & riders. By the way I also tried to shoot pheasants from horse back and that was an experiance and a half. :laughing:
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Postby ACEBLDRS » Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:19 pm

Last year for the dove opener my dog (ACE) and i were set up in some weeds. He had just crossed a canal to retrieve a downed dove. When he came back I had him sit in his spot like before. After a while he started rolling in the grass, drying off i guess. I didn't pay much attention. Then I felt something bite my arm. I looked up and saw my dog looking around very confused at all of the buzzing hornets around his head.

If anyone was watching then it must of been a good show, because i grabbed my gun, birds and seat and halled arse, with my dog hot on my tail.

Both of us made it out unscaved somehow.
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Postby Rat Creek » Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:22 pm

A friend and hunting partner of mine has a Brittany spaniel. I have a GSP. We took them to an off-leash area at our local county park. It is a great place with about 60 acres to roam and a nice pond in the middle where the dogs can swim.

It is a hot summer day and there were at least three dozen dogs, of all shapes and colors, running around and jumping in the water. My GSP swims, but not well. It is a lot of splashing and commotion without much forward motion. Well, my friend decides he is going to have some fun with me so he yells out, “someone get a life jacket for that dog, it looks like it is going to drown.” This gets a pretty good laugh from all the dog owners.

Right after the laughter dies down, his Brittany, totally covered in mud, comes tearing out the silt filled end of the pond, and launches himself at his master. My friend is bowled over backward, lands on his back, and then gets back to his feet. His nice clean clothes are now destroyed.

Everyone was kind of quiet, so I asked- “Hey, how is that obedience training working out for you?”

And the place erupted.
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