A guy comes home from working at the pickle factory all day and says to his wife “Honey, I have to confess something to you. While at work I have been having very strong urges to put my penis in the pickle slicer.”
The mans wife can’t believe it. She tells him that they need to get him into counseling right away.
Being the man he is he tells her that he will work through it on his own. After a week, he still is having the urges and tells her that he will go to the counseling. He goes to the counseler a couple times a week for two weeks, and finally feels cured of the urges.
Then he comes walking through the door one day, his face as white as a ghost. His wife asked “what happened to you”.
“Well”, he said “You know about my urges to put my penis in the pickle slicer, well, I did it!”
Wife : “OH, My God, are you OK”
Husband: “I lost my job”
Wife: “No, I mean are you OK, you know, what happened with the pickle slicer.”
Husband: “ Oh, she got fired to!”
Sorry if I butchered the joke, I tell them better than I type them.
.....you've got to ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?
Die' en ain't much of a livin' son.