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A Serious Condition

2K views 36 replies 26 participants last post by  aunt betty 
#1 ·
Gentlemen,

Today I wish to discuss with you an ailment that is sweeping duck hunters across the nation. It affects the young duck hunters more than the old, but a select few older duck hunters have also fallen victim to it. This disease is known as Choade Balding. Normally the choade is covered in hair and remains hidden. When one is afflicted with Choade Balding, however, the choade is exposed to the light of day which triggers the other symptoms. The choade will often seek to cover itself with colorful bandanas, do rags, flatbills, women's sunglasses, black hoodies, and barrel stickers. These efforts are futile at best, as it only exposes the choade to more criticism.

This criticism results in Tourette's Syndrome-like symptoms which may include excessive hooping, hollering, and grab ass playing. These individuals also become attracted to all things shiny; most specifically, reproduction waterfowl bands or bands purchased from ebay.

Please help us solve this terrible affliction by seeking out a balding choade and offering your assistance.

These individual are often as easy to locate as a largemouth bass locating a topwater plug on a cool spring morning. They can be spied from afar by looking for their shiny necks and colorful headgear. They are most often found posing seductively with their barrel-stickered shotguns and duck calls while grunting and muttering "brah".

Upon locating the individual, please redress them appropriately, hand them a fine double gun, and escort them to your blind. Together, we can end this disease once and for all.

This has been your public service announcement.
 
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#6 ·
I will attempt to document this new and spreading disease at our annual Game Fair this fall, just to see how far this affliction has spread. I will report back with my findings.

Thank you for bringing this matter to the attention of the masses.
 
#11 ·
You guys are stupid idiots. Mr. Belding represents all that is good in waterfowling.
 
#12 ·
Is there an applicable vaccination that can be given to the others within said Choade's hunting group as to prevent pandemic growth of the condition? Above and beyond the recomended treatment of the affected Choade there may or may not be suitable accommodations for his/her entire group within one's blind.
 
#13 ·
Funny how a we never even heard of this Chode Balding fella until very recently.
I saw him in season one but quickly forgot. d_p reminding me was like remembering a bad hangover.
Oh yeah...I remember that gay, I mean day, I mean guy. :yes:
d_p stirred up a firestorm and can't put it out no matter how much cheap beer he pees onto it.
Making fun of him has been the highlight of the summer so far. :clapping:
 
#18 ·
WisconsinWaterfowler said:
1) Any piece of headgear that requires a how to video doesnt belong in my blind bag.
2) If you require a how to video for a piece of head gear, take an honest look at yourself and ask, "should I really own a gun?" Feel free to ask your friends, or ask the Honey Hole
3)I do not want to put baklava on my head. Something about a greek pastry on my head doesn't give me a whole lot of confidence in an increased bird numbers, possibly a delicious hunt, but not a more successfull one. I prefer a balaclava for when it gets cold.

Before I recieve any criticism from a member of the banded nation for my criticism of his mispronunciation, realize, he is being paid, and has the option to do multiple takes to get a word right. Speaks to the inteligence of the entire fowl life production.
 
#22 ·
Indawoods said:
The wearing of worts for any length of time is guaranteed to instantly cure this afliction, as long as at least one other duck hunter witnesses you wearing them.

The FDA has neither evaluated nor approved this message.
:sad: I kept the woots and threw away the worts.
 
#23 ·
Thank God I'm OLD!!!! I knew the world was going to H#LL, but now I see IT"S TRUE. What a dweeb! I bet he wears duck musk in the field. I am honored that I personally haven't been exposed and am ready to avoid exposure at all costs.
On a serious note, HE MUST BE STOPPED> For the future of Waterfowling it has met a crossroad, and going down that path will destroy the tradition and gentlemanliness of our heritage. I beg of all true waterfowlers to do everything in their power to stop this evil force.

Duck Bless Us All
Rt. Rev. pvn6616
 
#24 ·
pvn6616 said:
On a serious note, HE MUST BE STOPPED> For the future of Waterfowling it has met a crossroad, and going down that path will destroy the tradition and gentlemanliness of our heritage. I beg of all true waterfowlers to do everything in their power to stop this evil force.

Duck Bless Us All
Rt. Rev. pvn6616
Preach it brotha, preach it! :hammer: :hammer:
 
#25 ·
I Sir, am honored by your presence and selflessness in drawing attention to this Choad with your Public Service Announcement! I do apologize for my failure to quote you. To You, Sir TNAL45, my heartfelt THANK YOU !

Rt. Rev. pvn6616
Praise be there ducks
 
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