Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

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Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby Crazy Matt » Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:47 am

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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby whisperin' duck » Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:55 am

Matt, GO BUY THAT RIG!!!!
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby Crazy Matt » Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:56 am

Can't stop laughing at the text.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby i_willie12 » Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:58 am

Saw that on facebook last night..... They said its already sold Good read though!!
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby teddysberna » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:02 pm

Awesome ad. I'd be tempted to give him $1850 just because I like his style
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby WoodyWhiffingMG » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:06 pm

Crazy Matt wrote:Can't stop laughing at the text.


The part I enjoy most is that he took the time to drive around to differnt backgrounds for each photo.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby T Man » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:10 pm

Copied and pasted, so years from now our children can enjoy this.

1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.


If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid crap: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of crap honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad ****.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a crap. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a crap. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an butt - then no sale.

-Why are you such a ****?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby whisperin' duck » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:17 pm

teddysberna wrote:Awesome ad. I'd be tempted to give him $1850 just because I like his style


I wouldn't have given a dollar over $1500.00 :hammer:
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby Locked&Loaded » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:32 pm

That was funny as hell! Thanks for posting this!
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby KaceyDucks » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:33 pm

Freaking awesome ad, made my day.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby MarkM » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:33 pm

I so want to go to Oklahoma just to meet this guy..
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby tmclaimerFL » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:45 pm

My favorite part

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby OHIODUCKA5 » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:47 pm

-Why are you such a ****?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Best line in he whole ad :lol3:
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby WoodyWhiffingMG » Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:06 pm

Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a shi+.


this is obviously the funniest line, come on guys.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby JuniorPre 360 » Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:16 pm

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

NICE! And I loved the spent shell casing to reset the odometer.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby assateague » Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:23 pm

This is so **** awesome!
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby assateague » Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:23 pm

tmclaimerFL wrote:My favorite part

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.





x1,000,000
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby Steel Shot » Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:40 pm

He put up a new listing after he sold it but it was taken down also. Here it is.
Flagged Red '97 Jeep Cherokee Ad - $1750 (Enid, OK)

The Cheap Jeep Sold! And I am conflicted ...

First of all: you people are all insane. In a really cool way.
The obnoxious ad for a beloved XJ took off like a deadbeat dad and ran amuck via internet like bad porn. I had NO idea things would get out of hand like that.

Second: I appreciate the hell out of all the threats of violence, poorly-written critiques, carnal propositions, questioning of my mechanical expertise, and humbling praise. The response to my rambling nonsense has been terrifyingly entertatining.

Third: I have no idea why CraigsList pulled the ad. It may have been the right-wing hate speech, it may have been the profanity, it may have been anti-redneck discrimination.
It may have been the traffic. You folks posted that ad on forums, newspapers, facebook, porn chat rooms, AA support groups, sex offender registries ... insanity.
It may have even been the fact the super-adorable and scary-smart Dana Loesch retweeted a link to the ad Friday night - and killed CL servers.
Ms. Loesch has 157,000 followers on Twitter. Two minutes after she tweeted the ad it was pulled.
I would have been more pissed, but I was three Guinness in on a weekend bender and just didn't give two shits.

By Saturday morning when the above-pictured hoodlums arrived to pick up the Jeep my hangover was subsiding, my butt friends were drinking again, and my Jeep was off to a new loving supportive home.

So yeah; the folks who adopted The Cheap Jeep fit the bill. Complete and total gearheads incapable of douche behavior. Jeep aficionados. Rock crawlers. Off-roaders. Welders. Fabricators. Rednecks. Good kids. I hated to see it go, but they'll give the little beast the attention it deserves.

In closing: Thanks, Weirdoes. That was fun.

Also, one last note:
****** in Edmond, OK who I hung up on. Twice: Yes, I was serious when I told you couldn't have my Jeep. And no, we didn't get cut off. I hung up. Twice. And yes; that was the 'F' word I yelled at you just before promising to do all those terrible things to your family. I have your number. Edmond is a small town. I get bored a lot. I have no conscience ...

Mahalo.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby possumfoot » Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:50 pm

i'd have a beer with him...
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby whistlin_wings » Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:20 pm

assateague wrote:This is so **** awesome!

Ball is in your court when you decide to sell yours.
You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby apexhunter » Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:58 pm

Everybody should click on the "best of" at the top of the listing so it might be available into perpetuity on CL.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby Crazy Matt » Wed Oct 16, 2013 5:55 pm

assateague wrote:
tmclaimerFL wrote:My favorite part

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.





x1,000,000


I peed a little.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby t_baker » Wed Oct 16, 2013 6:06 pm

Oh my God this is gold.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby shoveler_shooter » Wed Oct 16, 2013 9:02 pm

MarkM wrote:I so want to go to Oklahoma just to meet this guy..

Sounds exactly like the carry permit class instructor I had. Other side of the state though.
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Re: Someone should buy this jeep, oh my.

Postby DuckmanOK » Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:30 am

And that's Oklahoma ! Good state and ppl
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