Best Blond joke ever and ..........

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Best Blond joke ever and ..........

Postby h2ofwlr » Fri Jan 28, 2005 10:31 am

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

"Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.

~~~~~~~

There is NOOOOOOOOO way to top that blond joke, so here is the next best subject--lawyer jokes :thumbsup:

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

Q: What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
A: Your honor.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in
cement?
A: Not enough cement.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked
lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.

Q: What's the difference between a shame and a pity?
A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no
survivors, that's known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that's
a shame.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
A: Just say, "Fees!"

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the
ladder company.

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:



Ok one more dumb blond joke that the yankees can relate too...

The Blonde and the Snow Plow

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.
She finally remembered her dad's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift.
This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while, a snow plow went by, and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow, she was feeling very smug as they continued, and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.
After quite sometime had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came walking back to her car and signaled her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right, as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her dad's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard. The driver replied that it was OK with him, and she could continue if she wanted... but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to K-mart next.


Come to think of it, it does sound more like a Rebel situation when there is 2" of snow on the ground in the deep south.
:yes:
The Audacity of Bull Crap.
"Typical: Gun-loving, bitter bible-thumping white person" Barack Obama.
Hey I resemble that comment!!! Those are FIGHTING WORDS!!!
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Postby SCoutdoorsman » Fri Jan 28, 2005 12:07 pm

:laughing: good ones
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Postby Goshawk » Sat Jan 29, 2005 12:05 pm

Your blond jokes make me wonder how much of your opinion of blonds low intelligence is related to training and hunting with that blond swamp carpet in your avatar.
:laughing:
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Postby donell67 » Sat Jan 29, 2005 2:06 pm

:thumbsdown: where not laughing goshawk. :hammering: :hammering: :hammering:
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Postby SCoutdoorsman » Sat Jan 29, 2005 2:31 pm

Goshawk :pissed: you dont have to read them.
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Postby Woodywoodduck » Sat Jan 29, 2005 3:29 pm

SCoutdoorsman wrote:Goshawk :pissed: you dont have to read them.

I am wondering if he had an "Outside" Source that read the post and wanted him to post that Drivel?

Will there be :hammering: ?
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Postby Goshawk » Sat Jan 29, 2005 5:24 pm

h2ofwlr chose to poke fun at two demographic groups that would indicate that he can handle a little ribbing in return.

It is ironic that he posted those jokes right next to that photo. :toofunny:
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Postby 98ramtough » Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:01 am

Don't even joke about the fine blonde in his avatar.....



:toofunny:
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Postby h2ofwlr » Sun Jan 30, 2005 8:14 am

Goshawk wrote:Your blond jokes make me wonder how much of your opinion of blonds low intelligence is related to training and hunting with that blond swamp carpet in your avatar. :laughing:


Well what I think is that you do not even have any hair on your dog because it has mange, or you do not even have a dog. :eek: Besides everybody can plainly see that Casey is a Redhead and not a blond. :yes: I think you are just jealous of his naturally red curly hair that he has and that you are a bald and wish you had hair like that! :tounge:

:laughing:
The Audacity of Bull Crap.
"Typical: Gun-loving, bitter bible-thumping white person" Barack Obama.
Hey I resemble that comment!!! Those are FIGHTING WORDS!!!
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Postby Goshawk » Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:51 pm

While it is true that my hair is starting to thin on top there is nothing wrong with my dogs coat it is thick, healthy and black as coal. He earned his AKC senior hunt test title last year and I run him in qualifying stakes at the field trials. The funny thing is that his call name is…Casey. :thumbsup:
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Postby had » Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:58 pm

blond swamp carpet in your avatar.
:thumbsdown:
it would've been funny if it wasn't personal.
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Postby Goshawk » Sun Jan 30, 2005 2:54 pm

Actually it is funny…and no more personal than his jokes are to a blond or a lawyer.
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Postby SCoutdoorsman » Sun Jan 30, 2005 3:19 pm

My girl here on the left name is Casey. More poplular name than I thought when I picked it :smile:
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Postby had » Sun Jan 30, 2005 3:23 pm

i'm sorry i believe it is personal, but that is just my opinion. the jokes are not personal, just jokes.
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Postby Goshawk » Sun Jan 30, 2005 3:44 pm

the jokes are not personal, just jokes.

Any joke about a specific group of people or a profession is going to be personal to someone.

More poplular name than I thought when I picked it Smiling

I had no idea either. I have run across a few while competing at AKC events.
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Postby duckaholic_16p » Sun Jan 30, 2005 6:54 pm

goshawk, are you a lawyer or a blonde? or is there some other reason you have to bash a guys dog. Tell me you have never told a racist or blonde joke before? Ill bet you almost everyone has. I guess i just dont understand why you have to bash a guys pride and joy for a harmless joke.
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Postby Goshawk » Sun Jan 30, 2005 8:40 pm

duck,
The so called bashing was the harmless joke.

The shameful thing about this subject is that a man chosen by the administration to represent their site as a moderator would use their site to insult some of the very people they created the site to serve. Anyone that is, dating or married to a blond or a lawyer would be offended by his remarks.
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Postby mallardhunter » Sun Jan 30, 2005 8:58 pm

Can't you guys lighten up and take a joke?
Keep working millions on welfare depend on you!!!
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Postby SCoutdoorsman » Mon Jan 31, 2005 2:53 am

mallardhunter wrote:Can't you guys lighten up and take a joke?

Lets end this topic, shall we.



My wife is a brunette, but acts like a blonde all the time should I be mad :mrgreen:
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Postby Admin2 » Mon Jan 31, 2005 11:41 am

Goshawk wrote:The so called bashing was the harmless joke.

The shameful thing about this subject is that a man chosen by the administration to represent their site as a moderator would use their site to insult some of the very people they created the site to serve. Anyone that is, dating or married to a blond or a lawyer would be offended by his remarks.


So Goshawk, yours is a "harmless joke" but the blond and lawyer jokes are not since you say it is "shameful" that jokes were posted up? Sounds to me you have a double standard. You better get a lot thicker skinned if you felt the jokes were offensive to you. Being you are so bothered, I bet you are a blond haired LAWYER, am I right? I have news for you, some of the most disparaging lawyer jokes I ever heard were told to me by LAWYERS themselves.

If you do not like the jokes or any other topic ---then do NOT read them--- nobody and I mean nobody is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to read them. YOU have a choice to read or not to read anything here or anywhere else on the web, and you have choice on what you write or not to write. Everybody has this choice, it has to do with personal responsibility for your own actions.

This site is about having some fun, learning, helping others, and enjoying the commaradre' of other waterfowl hunters. And if you do not like those 4 things, then do not let the door hit you on the way out of here and do not return.

Everybody, Am I crystal clear on this?


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