Scottish compassion

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Scottish compassion

Postby LongTom » Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:37 pm

SCOTTISH COMPASSION
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman said, 'Have you ever had a hug?'

The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Welsh woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'

The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman came to him and said, 'hiv ye ever been f..ked laddie?'
The man broke into a big smile and said, ‘No’.

She said, 'Well - Ye will be when the tide comes in.'
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby sprigs4days » Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:55 pm

That's some funny chit LT....again
"Three can keep a secret, if two are dead"
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby ibedamn » Sat Dec 14, 2013 7:15 am

:lol3: :lol3: :lol3: :lol3:
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby Underradar » Sat Dec 14, 2013 12:38 pm

Anti-Scott racist thread reported.
My lab died, and no one on Duckhuntingchat even cared.

Google I'm feeling lucky: DU biologist stole my car

You may win a fight, but you can never win an argument.
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby OGblackcloud » Sat Dec 14, 2013 1:15 pm

Don't get me started on the no arms and legs jokes
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby Underradar » Sat Dec 14, 2013 2:08 pm

Handicap violation.
My lab died, and no one on Duckhuntingchat even cared.

Google I'm feeling lucky: DU biologist stole my car

You may win a fight, but you can never win an argument.
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby OGblackcloud » Sat Dec 14, 2013 2:26 pm

You know what you call a guy with no arms or legs on your front porch ?






















Matt
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby Me and Black Betty » Sat Dec 14, 2013 3:02 pm

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs?
Doesn't matter cause he aint coming to you anyway... unless you had him force fetched in the dog forum that is.

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Whoa, Black Betty BAM-BA-LAM
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby Locked&Loaded » Sat Dec 14, 2013 3:04 pm

LongTom wrote:SCOTTISH COMPASSION
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman said, 'Have you ever had a hug?'

The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Welsh woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'

The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman came to him and said, 'hiv ye ever been f..ked laddie?'
The man broke into a big smile and said, ‘No’.

She said, 'Well - Ye will be when the tide comes in.'


Holy hell that was funny! :lol3: :lol3:
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby Locked&Loaded » Sat Dec 14, 2013 3:06 pm

OGblackcloud wrote:You know what you call a guy with no arms or legs on your front porch ?






















Matt


With my name being Matt and all, I am highly offended!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leafs?





Russel (Rustle)
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby OGblackcloud » Sat Dec 14, 2013 3:18 pm

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a hot tub ?

















Stew
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby Locked&Loaded » Sat Dec 14, 2013 3:20 pm

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?









Art
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby OGblackcloud » Sat Dec 14, 2013 3:21 pm

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a bush ?













Berry
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby Locked&Loaded » Sat Dec 14, 2013 3:22 pm

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water?









Bob
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby Professor_Leakey » Sat Dec 14, 2013 4:55 pm

What do you call a girl with one arm and one leg?








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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby Professor_Leakey » Sat Dec 14, 2013 4:57 pm

and another Scottish joke for good measure....

what's the difference between a Scotsman and Mick Jagger?




Mick Jagger says, "Hey, you. Get off of my cloud".

A Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe".
I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
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Re: Scottish compassion

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Sat Dec 14, 2013 5:06 pm

Locked&Loaded wrote:What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water?









Bob


Or Skip
assateague wrote:Wives are all against super cool, awesome ideas. If Columbus had been married, we'd all still be European.



WisconsinWaterfowler wrote: You just have to use the back of your throat and hum. That's how I would describe it anyways.
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