(IMPORTANT) MEN READ by the 14th

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(IMPORTANT) MEN READ by the 14th

Postby SCoutdoorsman » Sun Feb 06, 2005 7:42 pm

Just wanted to remind everyone Valentines is on the 14th thats next monday guys. Dont want anyone to get in trouble with the wives and not be able to get on here :thumbsup:

Here are some interesting facts for you all.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.

A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."

The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Cosmetics: A woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.

Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute

Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Bachelors should pay more taxes, they enjoy a better quality of life.

:laughing: Image
Everyone must believe in something and I believe I'll go hunting. When men bond something must die.
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Postby had » Sun Feb 06, 2005 9:39 pm

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

true. :getdown:
This site is about having some fun, learning, helping others, and enjoying the commaradre' of other waterfowl hunters. And if you do not like those 4 things, then do not let the door hit you on the way out of here.
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Postby stalns » Mon Feb 07, 2005 10:58 am

:salude:
You can tell the season is over.
TMTOH (too much time on hands)
Help me through the off season!
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Postby shrpshtr » Mon Feb 07, 2005 11:34 am

too funny! :salude:
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Postby SCoutdoorsman » Mon Feb 07, 2005 1:08 pm

stalns wrote::salude:
You can tell the season is over.
TMTOH (too much time on hands)
Help me through the off season!


We are here for ya my good man :thumbsup:
Everyone must believe in something and I believe I'll go hunting. When men bond something must die.
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Postby macdaddy » Tue Feb 08, 2005 7:34 am

SC: it's so funny 'cause it's so true :laughing: . Dear Lord - I have a date next Monday. :eek: What am I doing? :eek: :eek:
I'm the guy your Mother Goose warned you about.
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Postby SCoutdoorsman » Tue Feb 08, 2005 8:34 am

Well Mark I hope it is better than for you and her than this girls date.


This was on the Leno show the other night (9-7-99): Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner told about her first date experience.

She said it was snowing and cold and the guy took her skiing. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, and truly had never met before.

The date went OK until they were coming back that afternoon. They were going along in the car and she had to pee real bad, but it was still about an hour more back to civilization. He said she should try to hold it, and she did .. .for a while. It finally came to the point where she told him that he could either stop and let her pee beside the road, or in the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she went out beside the car and pulled her pants down and started. Well, she didn't have real good balance, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. He was a real gentleman and looked the other way.

When she was finished, she quickly noticed that her warm butt had stuck to the fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handle nightmares immediately came to mind and she soon realized that she had a real problem. She was thinking of every way she could to get released from his fender. He was getting a bit concerned too, and finally cried out to her asking if she was OK. Well, with a red face, she said she was freezing her butt off! She finally had to ask for assistance.

Now this isn't the worst of the story, there's more to come. She took off her sweater and covered herself as good as she could and asked him to came around to see if he could help. After the laughter subsided, they assessed the situation. They had a real problem. They agreed that they needed something warm to melt her butt off of the fender. Thinking about the pee that she just sprinkled on the ground made her think that pee is about the only thing that they had that could get her free.

Well, after exploring every other possible solution, she looked the other way, and so did he, and he proceeded to help get her butt off the fender. The rest of the trip home there wasn't much conversation. :laughing:
Everyone must believe in something and I believe I'll go hunting. When men bond something must die.
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Postby shrpshtr » Tue Feb 08, 2005 10:15 am

i have to agree, that has to be the worst possible first date in the history of the world. :thumbsdown:
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Postby AlaskaRedneK » Tue Feb 08, 2005 9:54 pm

Thanks for the reminder!!!!

-SR
[b][size=14]REAL Trucks don't got Spark Plugs

"Hold the Shotguns.... Its hard to stear like this!"
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Postby quackkiller » Wed Feb 09, 2005 7:24 pm

Thanks for the reminder. I got my girlfriends present today. I feel alot better now not having to worry about gettin something. Did pretty good this year, didn't have to spend too much money. :yes:
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