Dumb moves....

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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby t_baker » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:15 pm

go get the bird wrote:I lit a basketball on fire. When it wouldn't go out, I kicked it. It stuck to the garage, which burnt down.

After being instructed to take the trash out with my little brother, we ripped a bag open on accident. The can lids from that nights green beans fell out. Because I was a ninja in training, I threw a lid like a ninja star. It stuck right in the side of my brothers head, and folded over. I guess it ended up touching his brain or something.

I'm known for not sitting with all four legs of a chair on the floor. I wound up falling over, shattering a window, and falling outside.

My father put a basement under our old farm house. During excavation, he found a huge stock of antique liquor bottles, coke bottles, and glass milk jars. I decided they would be good target practice, and shot them all with my BB gun.

I had my arse beat quite a few times as a child.

I can keep going, and going, and going.

Please by all means keep going. I got a audible laugh out of the basketball and ninja lids.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby OHIODUCKA5 » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:25 pm

go get the bird wrote:I lit a basketball on fire. When it wouldn't go out, I kicked it. It stuck to the garage, which burnt down.

After being instructed to take the trash out with my little brother, we ripped a bag open on accident. The can lids from that nights green beans fell out. Because I was a ninja in training, I threw a lid like a ninja star. It stuck right in the side of my brothers head, and folded over. I guess it ended up touching his brain or something.

I'm known for not sitting with all four legs of a chair on the floor. I wound up falling over, shattering a window, and falling outside.

My father put a basement under our old farm house. During excavation, he found a huge stock of antique liquor bottles, coke bottles, and glass milk jars. I decided they would be good target practice, and shot them all with my BB gun.

I had my arse beat quite a few times as a child.

I can keep going, and going, and going.


:lol3: :lol3: :lol3: . The basketball story is great.
And a Desert Eagle that's one great big ol' pistol
I mean .50 caliber made by badazz Hebrews
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby go get the bird » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:32 pm

My brother had a tendency to climb out the window, climb the nearby tree, and jump on our roof late at night. Because of my earlier ninja training, I decided to place a "spike strip", if you will, right outside our window. It was a a piece if 3/4" plywood with about 150 3" nails in it, buried in the dirt. That arse whooping hurt pretty bad.

My brother and I were playing with the bows and arrows we got for Christmas in our basement. Apparently, using the refrigerator as a back-stop wasn't the smartest plan.

I was playing with a loaded rifle one day, showing my friend how our "practice bullets" worked. I forgot I loaded a live round with the two dummy rounds. BOOM. A bullet rips through the ceiling, tears a 1ft by 1ft chunk of carpet off the floor, rips through the 2nd floor ceiling, and lands smack dab in the middle if a roof truss. It never made it outside.

I shot my little brother with a bow and arrow I made out of wooden skewers. My "arrow" stuck in his leg about an inch in.

I took a pee in the gutter in front of our house when I was about 6. Neighbors called the cops and my parents got a pretty stern talking to.

I pushed my sister out of a hay loft into a snow pile that had melted and froze again.

After my brothers cat got run over by a tractor, my parents told me not to tell him because it would break his heart. I told him what happened to Orangey.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby go get the bird » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:39 pm

No joke, I got my arse beat about once a week from age 3-10.

In pre-school, on our last day, we all got to roast marshmallow. Mine got all sloppy and fell on the ground before I got the chance to eat it. I instructed one of my minions, a kid that wound up being one if my best friends, to steal someone else's marshmallow for me.

Same preschool class, we had a bunch if shoe boxes that we could build stuff out of. The black kid in our class had made what appeared to be a castle, so I kicked it in on him. (He was a really good friend growing up, as well)

I made a kid eat glue in kindergarten. He grew up enjoying the delectable flavor of white crayons, too.

My brother built a snow fort in a drift. I caved it in on him.

I tied my brother to the light poke in our farm yard and left him there until my parents got home.
MackieKnife wrote:The moral of the story is...I'm retarded.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby jaysweet3 » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:48 pm

Not taking the advise I was given as a teenager and a young man.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby Greenheadindy » Wed Mar 19, 2014 1:09 pm

Wasn't me but couple friends and I were screwing around hitting baseballs in the yard. When all the baseballs were scattered, I picked up a basketball and lobbed it towards him. It was high and inside, so he turned and squared up on it like a wood splitting stance. Swung down on it, and the bat bounced right off the basketball and came back and hit him in the forehead. Knocked him out cold and split his forehead open, but I laughed my ass off.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby t_baker » Wed Mar 19, 2014 1:15 pm

Walked in a front door at a house fire. Made 2 steps in and fell through the floor. Basement fire. I fell to my waste and was holding my hose to stay up. My buddy pulled me back up. I still have the boots and pants. Melted them both pretty good.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby TheMiz » Wed Mar 19, 2014 1:32 pm

Was blacked out on kentucky deluxe and punched a door, which broke my hand and I had to have a plate put in it.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby KAhunter » Wed Mar 19, 2014 1:45 pm

go get the bird wrote:My brother had a tendency to climb out the window, climb the nearby tree, and jump on our roof late at night. Because of my earlier ninja training, I decided to place a "spike strip", if you will, right outside our window. It was a a piece if 3/4" plywood with about 150 3" nails in it, buried in the dirt. That arse whooping hurt pretty bad.

My brother and I were playing with the bows and arrows we got for Christmas in our basement. Apparently, using the refrigerator as a back-stop wasn't the smartest plan.

I was playing with a loaded rifle one day, showing my friend how our "practice bullets" worked. I forgot I loaded a live round with the two dummy rounds. BOOM. A bullet rips through the ceiling, tears a 1ft by 1ft chunk of carpet off the floor, rips through the 2nd floor ceiling, and lands smack dab in the middle if a roof truss. It never made it outside.

I shot my little brother with a bow and arrow I made out of wooden skewers. My "arrow" stuck in his leg about an inch in.

I took a pee in the gutter in front of our house when I was about 6. Neighbors called the cops and my parents got a pretty stern talking to.

I pushed my sister out of a hay loft into a snow pile that had melted and froze again.

After my brothers cat got run over by a tractor, my parents told me not to tell him because it would break his heart. I told him what happened to Orangey.

You have some good ones. What kind of people call the cops on a six year old?? I am pretty sure i took a crap in the bushes in front of my house and my neighbors saw and just took em to my parents to wash up and laugh.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby CrazyDrake » Wed Mar 19, 2014 2:07 pm

Hit a big white oak with a baseball bat when I was 7, bat hit me in the mouth and broke off my left front tooth.

As a retaliation to a prank war that was going on I pooped in the water tank of my roommates toilet :no: :no:

Got a new bow when I was 14 for Christmas, dad told me not to take the broad heads off my aluminum arrows and put them on my new fancy carbon arrows until we went to deer camp the next day. After playing basketball with all the neighbor boys Christmas night, I decided to see how cool the muzzys would look on my new arrows. Took them off with the tool, put them on the new arrows with the tool, took them off the new arrow to put back on my old arrows(as to not get caught) with my thumb. Head came loose, and I could see my thumb bone clear as day. Had to get Dad out of bed at 10:30 Christmas night to go get 5 stiches. Shoulda seen the blood trail.

Convinced my 6 year old sister to ride down a big hill in our neighborhood on her bike. She got going too fast, got scared, handle bars started shaking, and she flipped over the front. Thankfully she decided to bail off in a yard, and landed in the grass.

Was riding a 4 wheeler down the dirt road at the farm, looking off into the field at some doves, never thought about the road ending, straight off into the ditch.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby Duck_Stank » Wed Mar 19, 2014 2:38 pm

CrazyDrake wrote:
Duck_Stank wrote:
t_baker wrote:Dead presidents only for this fella.

I like that saying. I know of a few people that do this.


For the record, Benjamin wasn't a president, not that you don't know that already, but there are a lot of dummies out there talking about "dead presidents" that don't!

Touche'! Granted those aren't an everyday handler for me.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby KRB » Wed Mar 19, 2014 2:55 pm

go get the bird wrote:No joke, I got my arse beat about once a week from age 3-10.

In pre-school, on our last day, we all got to roast marshmallow. Mine got all sloppy and fell on the ground before I got the chance to eat it. I instructed one of my minions, a kid that wound up being one if my best friends, to steal someone else's marshmallow for me.

Same preschool class, we had a bunch if shoe boxes that we could build stuff out of. The black kid in our class had made what appeared to be a castle, so I kicked it in on him. (He was a really good friend growing up, as well)

I made a kid eat glue in kindergarten. He grew up enjoying the delectable flavor of white crayons, too.

My brother built a snow fort in a drift. I caved it in on him.

I tied my brother to the light poke in our farm yard and left him there until my parents got home.

I am glad my younger brother does not come on here. I'd be getting a call telling me I was a mean and hurtful brother. :yes:
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby go get the bird » Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:12 pm

KRB wrote:
go get the bird wrote:No joke, I got my arse beat about once a week from age 3-10.

In pre-school, on our last day, we all got to roast marshmallow. Mine got all sloppy and fell on the ground before I got the chance to eat it. I instructed one of my minions, a kid that wound up being one if my best friends, to steal someone else's marshmallow for me.

Same preschool class, we had a bunch if shoe boxes that we could build stuff out of. The black kid in our class had made what appeared to be a castle, so I kicked it in on him. (He was a really good friend growing up, as well)

I made a kid eat glue in kindergarten. He grew up enjoying the delectable flavor of white crayons, too.

My brother built a snow fort in a drift. I caved it in on him.

I tied my brother to the light poke in our farm yard and left him there until my parents got home.

I am glad my younger brother does not come on here. I'd be getting a call telling me I was a mean and hurtful brother. :yes:

I was pretty wreckless as a child.

I accidentally dropped my grandmother's puppy down a flight of stairs. It lost like 4 teeth. I said she fell.

I got caught starting fires in our garage (the one the basketball stuck to). Someone threw an entire garbage bag full of stuffed animals in the trash, so I did my part to take care of the environment. I burned them one by one until I was caught.

I set ablaze the heads of my sister's Barbies.
MackieKnife wrote:The moral of the story is...I'm retarded.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby KRB » Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:22 pm

go get the bird wrote:
KRB wrote:
go get the bird wrote:No joke, I got my arse beat about once a week from age 3-10.

In pre-school, on our last day, we all got to roast marshmallow. Mine got all sloppy and fell on the ground before I got the chance to eat it. I instructed one of my minions, a kid that wound up being one if my best friends, to steal someone else's marshmallow for me.

Same preschool class, we had a bunch if shoe boxes that we could build stuff out of. The black kid in our class had made what appeared to be a castle, so I kicked it in on him. (He was a really good friend growing up, as well)

I made a kid eat glue in kindergarten. He grew up enjoying the delectable flavor of white crayons, too.

My brother built a snow fort in a drift. I caved it in on him.

I tied my brother to the light poke in our farm yard and left him there until my parents got home.

I am glad my younger brother does not come on here. I'd be getting a call telling me I was a mean and hurtful brother. :yes:

I was pretty wreckless as a child.

I accidentally dropped my grandmother's puppy down a flight of stairs. It lost like 4 teeth. I said she fell.

I got caught starting fires in our garage (the one the basketball stuck to). Someone threw an entire garbage bag full of stuffed animals in the trash, so I did my part to take care of the environment. I burned them one by one until I was caught.

I set ablaze the heads of my sister's Barbies.

Your post's have brought back all the horrible things I did in my youth. I almost feel like calling my brother and apologizing, Almost haha. I was a crazy kid. :beer:
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby Rat Creek » Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:29 pm

As soon as you think the odds are too long to accomplish something on the first try, you will be proven wrong. Heck, that is how most of us were conceived.

Anyway I have two that involve the same friend.

At about age 14, a backyard football game devolved into throwing mudballs. Unfortunately, my friend had all the best mud material. From 30 yards or so, I threatened that if he threw one more, I was going to throw a hedge apple his way. The one I picked up was bigger than a softball. He laughed, threw another mud ball and bent down to reload. I threw the bocce ball size hedge apple as far as I could and just when my friend straightened up, it hit him right between the eyes. Literally knocked him out on his feet. Once he stopped staging, and he saw the blood flowing onto his shirt, he felt his nose to find it flat as a pancake. The profanity could be heard for miles. Though he had his nose set so that he would not look like Joe Frazer, he now wears a CPAP to help him breath at night.

Then as karma would have it, later that year, we had been shooting our pellet guns. I had to go home for dinner. Through coercion and blackmail on his part, I agreed to give him one chance to shoot me, but he had to wait until I was over 100 yards away and we picked a land mark when he could take his shot. I was running home in a serpentine pattern, laughing all the way until I reached the land mark. Well, when they say you do not hear the bullet that hits you, they are wrong. It makes a weird sound through your skull and into your ears when it hits you in the back of your head. The lucky bum hit me dead center of the back of my head at 100+ yards with one shot while I was running a weird pattern. I fell to the ground and my friend came running up assuming I was faking. To his amazement, I had blood on my hands and he had to help get the pellet out from under my scalp. Now that I buzz cut my hair, my friend makes it a point to show people where he shot me… 30 years ago! Karma is a…

Stupid is as stupid does.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby Papachessie » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:41 pm

Man, I'm crying reading these.
Stepped off a cement wall into a pond that you could see the bottom in about a foot down. Went straight down over my head and never did feel bottom.
I shot a golfball wedged in the crook of a tree with a BB gun and watched the BB come back and hit me in the chest.
I used to put little pieces of pencil erasures on moms straight pins and shoot them through a straw and stick 'em in my sister.
After the blizzard of '78 there were 4 and 5' drifts everywhere. We would do flips off the roofs of all the neighbor kids houses into them. My buddy and I were on our garage roof and I told him to jump and he said "are you sure there's nothing under the snow there?" I said yeah, go ahead. Well just so happens, I left the lawn mower there.
I used to beat on .22 shells with a hammer 'til they went off.
Tried to shoot the back of a 12ga. shell with a BB gun. Luckily, I never hit the primer.
Someone was talking about unlikely things on the first try. Well I had one of those little plastic Daisy BB guns that would shoot a big rainbow and shot at a Robin about 70 yards away. I aimed way above it's head and watched the BB all the way to the back of its head. Fell over dead as a hammer.
Did it again with a Cardinal at about 50 yards. Couldn't believe I hit it and went to look and had shot its beak right off.
Started a campfire in the middle of the bedroom floor when I was about 4.
Pierced my sisters ear with a prerigged rubber worm while fishing.
Was pulling a buddies girlfriend on an inner tube behind a snowmobile with too long of a rope and when I turned the corner on the road the tube swung way wide and wrapped right around a mailbox. Luckily she rolled off just in time. I talked her into getting back on the tube, assuring her that I'd be more careful. :yes: I swung into the mouth of a driveway and back out causing the tube to swing into the driveway, hitting the snowbank and launching her into the air about 8' and landing her in the road. She walked home.
Was pulling my stepson on a tube behind my Nitro bass boat and couldn't shake him, so I did about a 45mph sharp turn whipping him at about 80mph. Finally shook him. He did a couple spread eagle cartwheels where only his hands and feet touched the water. He was done for the day. Still can't stop laughing when I picture it.
I could go on all night. Can't believe I haven't killed someone. :no:
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby beretta24 » Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:26 pm

Made a blow gun out of a butterfly net handle. I used baby toads for ammo. They made a great seal so I could launch them pretty far. I was testing how far I could make one go and took a deep breath. Forgot to take my mouth off the handle, sucked the lil toad in, and almost choked to death on a baby toad while tasting baby toad urine.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby micneador » Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:05 pm

A few years back me and a buddy were hitting Golf balls around the yard. He chipped one at me and I took a wild swing with a 6 iron.
squared the ball perfectly and hit him inbetween the eyes, knocking him out. he had dimple marks from the golf ball and hand prints on his facefrom me trying to wake him up.
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby clampdaddy » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:20 pm

4th of July, my brother and me playing army. Got our hands on a few of those spinning firework things that you nail to a post and took them apart to get the little rockets. I'm holding a piece of pvc pipe over my shoulder like a bazooka and yelling "load!" while my little brother behind me loads a firework into the breach of my bazooka and lights it. One of them goes astray, hits the mirror of my grandpas new truck and ricochets into the cab through the open window. :no:
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Re: Dumb moves....

Postby Papachessie » Thu Mar 20, 2014 7:34 pm

One day at work on break we decided to have a bottle rocket war in the parking lot. Until one went up into someones fender well and went off. Decided we should probably quit.
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