A Little Weekend Humor

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A Little Weekend Humor

Postby Swamp Puppy » Sat Aug 06, 2005 7:16 am

Subject: Airline Repairs by Quantas

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet",which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem,and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the "gripe sheets" before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.By the way,Qantas is the only major airline that has never
had an accident.



P = The problem logged by the pilot.

S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

*************************** *************************************

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.



P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for. <-LMAO



P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.



P: Noise from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.
Friends Don't Let Friends Shoot Mossbergs.
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haha

Postby choclab » Sat Aug 06, 2005 9:11 am

:toofunny: That is way to damn funny. :laughing:
"The rich....who are content to buy what they have not the skill to get by their own exertions, are the real enemies of game". Teddy Roosevelt
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Postby ACEBLDRS » Sat Aug 06, 2005 10:38 am

I'm smiling!
.....you've got to ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?

Dirty Harry

Die' en ain't much of a livin' son.
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Postby shrpshtr » Sat Aug 06, 2005 10:49 am

now that is some funny stuff! i have heard quantas is a great airline!
Talk 'em into givin' up!

It's easier to get forgiveness than it is permission!
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Postby 870 » Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:05 pm

good job SP :toofunny:
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