Funny Jokes

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Funny Jokes

Postby dgraves » Fri Nov 06, 2009 11:12 am

Ok you have asked for it so here it is.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby fishnfever » Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:42 pm

PROVERBS BY LARRY
(THE CABLE GUY)

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. I you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens when you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the heck happened?”

22. Just remember … if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby fishnfever » Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:43 pm

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John's favorite rooster, Hussein, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed Hussein's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.

To John's amazement, Hussein had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of Hussein, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded Hussein the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly Hussein was a politician in the making.

Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby fishnfever » Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:44 pm

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "'What am I doing? I'm too old for this,"' and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The old gentleman paused. Then said, "'Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."'

"'Have a good day, sir,"' replied the trooper
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby fishnfever » Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:46 pm

The difference between Poetry and Prose.

There was a young lady from Glass
Who walked into the water right up to her knees........... that's prose

If she had walked much further it would have been poetry
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby fishnfever » Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:47 pm

There.....

I've got it started, lets see some more... :clapping:
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby fishnfever » Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:50 pm

The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague
of pigeons in Phoenix. He could not remove the pigeons
from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop,
the people of Phoenix could not walk on the sidewalks,
or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to keep
the streets and sidewalks clean.

One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor
a proposition.

I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons
without any cost to the city. But, you must promise
not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me one
million dollars to ask one question.'

The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted
the free proposition.

The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall,
opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue
pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright
blue Arizona sky.

All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon and
gathered up in the air behind the blue pigeon. The
Phoenix pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew
southward out of the city.

The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone
to the man atop City Hall.

The Mayor was very impressed. He thought the man and
the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous
feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons. Even though
the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor
presented him with a check for 1 million dollars and told
the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and
even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had
rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million
just to get to ask ONE question.

The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask
his ONE question.

Do you think the Mayor is going to ask how the blue
pigeon led all the pigeons away?

Do you think he is going to ask where the man got the
blue pigeon?

Nooooooo!

The mayor asked:

"Do you have a blue Mexican?"
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby lameduck » Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:09 pm

24. Life isn't a box of chocolates...

That was the best one I have heard.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby lameduck » Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:21 pm

1.There's an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Baylor Bear that all just broke out of jail. They went to hide out in an old animal warehouse. The Aggie and Bear each hid in a box and the Longhorn hid in a bag. The police walked in and knocked on the Aggie box. With plenty of experience working with livestock, the Aggie replied, "Moo!" The police said, "Oh, it's just a cow." After knocking on the Bear's box, the Bear instinctively replied, "Grrrroooowwwwlllll!" The police said, "Oh, it's just a bear!" the police shook the t-sip's bag and the t-sip said, "Potatoes!"


2.Did you hear about the Longhorn terrorist who tried to blow up one of the Aggie busses? He burned his lip on the tailpipe!



3.Three Aggies and three teasips are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, The three teasips each buy tickets and watch as the three Aggies buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a teasip.

"Watch and you'll see," answers the Aggie. They all board the train. The teasips take their respective seats but all three Aggies cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket,please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The teasips saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.

So after the conference, the teasips decide to copy the Aggies (as they always do) on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Aggies don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed teasip.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an Aggie.

When they board the train the three teasips cram into a restroom and the three Aggies cram into another one nearby.

The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Aggies leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the teasips are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."






4.Two Fightin' Texas Aggie students and a Longhorn were driving through the Texas countryside when their car broke down. Luckily, they were near a farmhouse. So they knocked on the door and asked the gruff old farmer if they could stay the night. The farmer agreed, but only on one bizarre condition. He told them to go out into his field, pick any fruit or vegetable they could find, then to return to the farmhouse. Some time later, the two Aggies found themselves dead and in line at the pearly gates. Saint Peter was there, listening to their tale. "Okay," said Saint Peter, "You went out and found some fruits and vegetables. How did you die?" "Well," continued one of the Aggies, "My friend here returned first with a cherry. Then the farmer pointed his gun at him and commanded, 'Stick that cherry up your butt, and if you laugh I'll shoot you!'" "And?" prompted Saint Peter. "He laughed, and the farmer shot him." "Why did you laugh?" Peter asked the second Aggie. "It tickled," he said. "Then it was my turn," continued the first Aggie. "I had also brought a cherry, and the farmer pointed his gun at me and told me the same thing. I laughed and he shot me." "And why did you laugh?" Saint Peter asked. "I saw the Longhorn coming up the walkway with a watermelon."
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby Deadduxtim » Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:36 pm

How many sooners does it take to fix a flat tire?

Three, one to watch the car, one to fix martinis and one to call daddy.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby lameduck » Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:21 pm

eww dagger to the heart... coming from an OU student. The funny thing is I totally agree, I have met some of the biggest wastes of manhood (if you can call it that) at OU. I wish I went to OSU, but I didn't think that OU was going to be as liberal as it is.

Just decided to go to Law School, so I bet I am about to meet the worst of them.


On another note, most of my jokes break the forum rules in more ways than one, but I will keep thinking.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby Nomeite » Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:45 pm

Our Tax System Explained: Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten duck hunters go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten duck hunters drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for
free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth
man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six hunters was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I got"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine hunters surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby cbog34 » Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:28 am

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.


'You talk?' he asks.


'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired..'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.


'Ten dollars,' the guy says.


'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that sh***.
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And Then The Fight Started

Postby fishnfever » Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:24 pm

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes.."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said...

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The
woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Crap. That
must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He
smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast
as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the
woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Molson Canadian for $24.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of face cream for $17.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the face cream.

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

Nah, she can order for herself"

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. 'I understand she took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober
since.'

'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?'

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so; I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And that's when the fight started

...............................................

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I
bought you last year!"

And that's when the fight started
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Random thoughts for the day

Postby fishnfever » Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:25 pm

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how
to get out of my own neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person
died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when
you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of
the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want
to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I
want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not
make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer
when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen
if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that? I almost want to
try, so that I can give him a straight answer.

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday
night more kisses begin with alcohol than with K.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby duckslayer82 » Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:51 am

Guy and Gal are dating. She's never met his parents, sooo he sets it up to have dinner at his parents place one night so she could meet them.

When they get there the family dog lays at the gals feet. A little while goes by and she has to fart. So thinking smart and the dog laying next to her she eases one out. The father looks down at the dog and says "GOSH DANG IT ROVER!!!!"

She is relieved that the father thinks its the dog...sooo..

A little while later passes and the girl has to fart again. So she does. The father once again looks down at the dog and says "GOSH DANG IT ROVER!!!!!"

During the dessert she has to fart AGAIN! So she does...The father then looks down disgusted at the dog and says "GOSH DANG IT ROVER, GET AWAY FROM HER FORE SHE CRAPS ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :lol3:
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby fishnfever » Fri Dec 11, 2009 1:36 pm

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing..

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get
another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a
pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby fishnfever » Fri Dec 11, 2009 1:37 pm

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite." "What about you Sherman, how would you say it?" Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table." And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.

The teacher fainted
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the pope in alaska

Postby fishnfever » Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:11 pm

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, an 'Obama' cap and a 'Save the Trees' t-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly. As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers with 'Go Sarah' t-shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other gently placed the injured Democrat in the back seat. As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over.. 'I give you my blessing for your brave actions!' he told them. 'I have heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true.' As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, 'Who was that guy?' 'It was the Pope,' another replied. 'He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.' 'Well,' the logger said, 'he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby Thatdudewhoduckhunts » Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:11 pm

A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender "hey gimmee a drink" the bartender says "there's a circus in town you should apply for a job" so the dog says "do they need electricians" lol :lol3:
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby Specklebelly » Thu Dec 30, 2010 8:52 pm

Not really a joke but pretty darn funny:

http://sendables.jibjab.com/originals/s ... to_ya_2010

If you do not think this is funny you probably didn't vote for the same guy I did. :biggrin:
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby jeff_osu » Tue Mar 08, 2011 7:12 pm

Also not a joke, but funny.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby UrbanDuckMan » Wed Nov 30, 2011 7:07 pm

This may be a bit on the " blue " side of things ...but...I think I can phrase it in such a manner so's not to cause any problems...IF I don't...then I apologize in advance...and...PULL IT OFF THE SITE!

Thibedeaux was walk'n in the Mall on afternoon and spotted his favorite Coosan...Boudreaux walk'n a bit ahead of him. He called out for his Coosan but got no result. He hollered out his Coosan's name louder till he was literally shouting it at the top of his lungs. He finally caught up with Boudreaux and he asked him..." hey Coosan...what da hey is wornt wit you...you lost your hear'n?"

Boudereaux replied, " my name ain't Boudreaux anymore, I changed it, my name is now LUCKY!"

Thib. asked, " whay you change your name to Lucky?"

Boud. explained, " well I was travel'n in da pickup truck wit two other guys and the driver lost control and we left the roadway ...went airborne for over 100 feets...came down hit a tree and dem other two was kilt instantly and me ...I walked away without even a little bitty scratch. So, I went down to the Courthouse and changed my name to Lucky."

Thib. replied, " hell yeah, I can understand dat. See ya around Lucky!"

A week later Thib. was walk'n downtown on the square and he spots his favorite Coosan Thib. walk'n up ahead and he calls out ..."HEY...LUCKY...wait up I wants to talk at ya." Boud. just keeps walk'n like he don't hear a thing.

Thib. YELLED at da top of his lungs and catches up to Boud. "Why you not stop for your favoirite Coosan when I called out your name.

Boud. answers " well my name ain't LUCKY anymore I changed it."

Thib. " You changed your name AGAIN...what your name now ...and...WHY you change it again you just got through do dat a week ago."

Boud. " Well you see I was fly'n in a plane wit a couple of guys and we run outta gas way UP THERE IN DA SKY. We fell straight down and BALOOEY...we crashed into this field. Both of dem guys was kilt instantly and I walked away without even a lil scratch."

Thib. " DAMN SON...you are lucky ...so what your name now...what you change it to this time?"

Boud. " I changed my name to LUCKY LUCKY!"

About a week later Thibedeaux sees his favorite Coosan at da High School Football game and hollers out for him..."LUCKY LUCKY hold up I wants to talk to ya!"

Boud. ( LUCKY LUCKY ) just keeps on walk'n a bit funny like ...but... he don't seem to be hear'n anything. Thib. finally catches up to him and taps him on the shoulder which stops his favorite Coosan.

Thib. " Hey LUCKY LUCKY...why you not stop for me ...you not hear me holler'n for you? Why you walk'n so funny like."

Boud. " No I hears you...but...LUCKY LUCKY ain't my name no more...I CHANGED IT!" My new name is now...LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY!"

Thib. " Oh My Gawd son...what happened this time?"

Boud. ( LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY )..." Well ya see I was upstairs of da Cat House have'n fun with dis Lady Of Da Night when some Druken Fool walks in dowstair and starts shoot'n his 1911 Colt .45 up into the air and dem round came up thru the floor ...and the reason I'm walk'n so funny is...well one of dem big .45 rounds ...well...BLEW MY COCHANGEYS PLUMB CLEAN ...OFF!"

Thib. he thinks on this a bit and replies " Seem to me dat ain't lucky enough to go and change your name to LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY!"

Boud. without hesitation replies " If it hadda been two second earlier ...HE WOULDA BLEW MY FACE CLEAN OFF!"
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby Nasrin » Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:27 am

I like cheese so much. I eaten too much cheeses in my childhood. So, for this reason i have made many cheese jokes in my childhood. My parents forbid ed me for not eat much cheese. But i eat cheeses by steeling. One my parents have caught me and gave tomato to eat instead of cheese.
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Re: Funny Jokes

Postby Over the Limit & Co. » Mon Jan 02, 2012 6:59 am

Love test
Who loves you more your dog or your wife?
Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open it see which one is happy to see you.
18' Go Devil, SBEII, Crooks Kennel Black Lab, G&H decoys, big Ford truck, lots of land to hunt, duck blinds all over the state and still have a hard time getting limits. It must be me that sucks and not the gear.
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