Kids say the darnedest things

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Kids say the darnedest things

Postby h2ofwlr » Thu Feb 02, 2006 11:55 am

Kid's In Church
Real comments made by children

Jesus' Dad's Name
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
A little kid said, "Verge."
Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n'
Mary.''


*******************************************************************
What is Gods name?
3-year-old, Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His
name. Amen."


******************************************************************
Little Boy Praying
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."


**********************************************************
The Last Commandment
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her
what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not
take the covers off the neighbor's wife."


**********************************************************
A Christian Home
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the
way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times
what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us
brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."


**********************************************************************
Deliver Us From Evil
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer
for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from
the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she
carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us
not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.


**********************************************************************
Forgive Us Our Trespasses
One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as
we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."


**********************************************************************
Quiet In Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to
church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright
little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."


**********************************************************************
The 2 Ushers
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his
big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in
church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men
standing by the door? They're hushers."


**********************************************************************
Moral Lesson
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3. The
boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw
the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would
say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"


**********************************************************************
Died And Went To Heaven
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay
dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"


***************************************************************
Dinner Blessing
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their
six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
------------




Ya got to love Harold and Verge :laughing:


.
The Audacity of Bull Crap.
"Typical: Gun-loving, bitter bible-thumping white person" Barack Obama.
Hey I resemble that comment!!! Those are FIGHTING WORDS!!!
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Postby SCoutdoorsman » Thu Feb 02, 2006 3:06 pm

:laughing: those are some good ones. Thanks for sharing them.
Everyone must believe in something and I believe I'll go hunting. When men bond something must die.
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Postby HuntingWife » Fri Feb 03, 2006 9:20 am

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail!"

I love them all! :laughing:
In God we trust, all others must show ID.
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Postby duckdog » Fri Feb 03, 2006 9:24 pm

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: THAT IS GOOD :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Great

Postby Jay Jolicoeur » Fri Feb 10, 2006 7:55 am

Thanks for the post.
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Postby gracenjohn » Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:15 pm

Quiet In Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to
church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright
little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

this gets my vote :thumbsup:
thanks be to God
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