Marriage Question

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Marriage Question

Postby BLACKJACK225 » Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:26 pm

I recently got engaged and it has been one of the most happiest times in my life. My fiance and I are still in college. I will be graduating this spring but she will still have another year until she graduates. We have been struggling with setting a date for our wedding. I would like to wait until she is graduated from school (2yrs from now) to get married because it will give me more time to get a job in my career path, pay off my school debt which will be around $6,500 and also her school debt will be paid for as well. My fiance wants to get married this summer so she will still have another year of school. If we went with this option I would have alot less time to get a job, so I might have to get a job at wendys (somthing like that). We would also have to pay for her school on top of my debt so our debt total would be about $15,000 in school debt. I will be graduating with a degree in accounting and my fiance is double majoring in accounting and managment information systems. There are some grants and scholorships that we have looked into that would pay for half or all of her school but nothing is for sure yet. We have a little bit of money saved up and have made a budget and we could be married in a year and live by the skin of our chins. We are both christians and have been praying about this and talking to family and friends about our situation. My fiance is dead set on getting married in a yr and she has come to tears in some of our conversations of when to get married. It is so hard for me to tell her we need to wait and be prepared because yes, of course I would love to get married in a year but I feel we would be much better off if we waited. My question for you guys is what would you all do if you were in my shoes? Would you get married in a year and not be promised a job and live counting your pennies or would you wait 2 years and be more prepared.

I would like to wait 2 years of course because I need to provide the best I can for my fiance but it breaks my heart to see her crying and hurting because of my decision to wait becaue I want to give her what she wants but also give her the best. Any opinion is welcome.
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby c14smalls » Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:00 pm

My bro went through the same thing, he got married this past summer and wont be done with school till next spring, it's working out for them. Do what you think is best for you guys. I don't know you or her so it is hard to give definite advice. My wife and I have been married 2.5 years. She still in school and I am the one providing right now. It is hard living with little income and debt, we just had a fight about it earlier actually, but things work out. Like I said do what you think is best for you guys. Good luck :thumbsup:
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby TomKat » Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:30 am

WAIT

If its right now, it will still be right in 2 years. You are young. A lot can happen in 2 years.
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby mixedbag916 » Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:47 pm

Just my 2 cents

With the economy the way it is (and will probably be for a LONG time), your likelihood of getting a job in your field of study in a couple of years will be slim. You might still end up at something like wendys (sorry about being debbie downer).

My opinion is: make her happy, do it when she wants to. Also, if you do decide to do it on her time table, don't look back. Meaning, don't bring it up in the future (don't "hold it over her").

Finally, trust God in all things. Pray often. He will provide for you and your family.
"for I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power" Philippians 4:13
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby BLACKJACK225 » Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:45 pm

Thanks for the comments. I appreciate the help.
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby alanwebfoot » Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:07 pm

what tomkat said ,,also for my 2 cents the most common problem in a marriage is FINANCIAL!!!!think about it,,you or her aren't going anywhere!
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby Decoy » Sat Feb 04, 2012 1:40 pm

My wife and I were engaged 1 1/2 years because if I got married I lost a scholarship. If I had to do it again I would get married sooner. I do agree with the comment the most common marital problem is finances. I think that finances is more a side effect of the wants. We live in a society that tells us we need it all and now. We went through a tough time financially from 2006 to 2010, we lost between $300,000 and $400,000. We had to start over from scracth. We moved from a big house to a little mobile with five kids. I must say I have never been more content. My wife and I have been married almost 21 years. I could not have made it through the difficult times without her. However, at 22 when we got married, I don't know if I would have been mature enough to handle the situation the way we did now. The one thing I have learned, you cannot allow money to govern your decisions. If I were in your shoes and my wife was in your fiances I'd get hitched.
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby bdub20 » Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:49 pm

Either way will work. If you're willing to work and perhaps take a job less desirable to start that's ok. You will eventually find a job in your field. By getting married early you may save money in the long run because financial aid will help a lot for young married couples. However, if you are struggling you may still need to get loans to make it through the year. But your overall debt is not bad. Just live within your means and in do time everything will work out. Also as a christian a long engagement can be hard. The best of luck to you and your fiance and in the end whatever will make you both happy is the best answer.
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby eonri99 » Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:29 pm

It will be sort of a challenge to keep up with it but if you keep faith that everything will turnout for the better, it surely will. Visualizing the win will always get you there.

If it is right for now, then do not hold back and go with it. Experiencing most of the world while you grow together will be more beneficial for you guys as you will not be open to the good life only but also with taking life how harsh it could get.
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby pheasanthunter » Thu Feb 16, 2012 2:31 pm

well you have a big descison to make, and I said YOU.. as a Christian you are the head of the house hold and have the responsibilty of providing and protecting your wife and family. You still need to make this descion with her but your the head of the house hold. Also think about how you want to start your marriage? stressed out with school and work? even if you dont get a career job right after graduating working at Dicks or Cabelas full time with a BA would provide alot better than working at wendys part time and paying for school. Also if you both are praying about this if its Gods will you should both feel at peace with the descsion..
Keep us posted God bless!
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby ncramer7 » Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:43 pm

I just celebrated my one year anniversary, My wife is 20 and I am 22 everyone recommended that we wait till she was done or almost done with school. Fortunately we didn't listen but things were very hard at first. My job was going under I was about 4000 in debt but we knew what we wanted and it was our time to get married. One week before the wedding my boss told me that I was not going to get payed and the company was out of money, so I decided I would look for jobs on my honeymoon. Between the time I got married and a week later before the honeymoon my company was bought out. We are doing well now and have learned a lot. So my advice is pray about it and you will know in your hearts what is right and if you feel God is telling to wait a little that is what you should do. I would not change the hard times for anything because it taught us to trust each other but more importantly has shown us that God is in control even when it seems like there cant possibly be a tomorrow. so take it for what its worth and good luck with the wedding planning
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby pheasanthunter » Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:11 pm

ncramer7 wrote:I just celebrated my one year anniversary, My wife is 20 and I am 22 everyone recommended that we wait till she was done or almost done with school. Fortunately we didn't listen but things were very hard at first. My job was going under I was about 4000 in debt but we knew what we wanted and it was our time to get married. One week before the wedding my boss told me that I was not going to get payed and the company was out of money, so I decided I would look for jobs on my honeymoon. Between the time I got married and a week later before the honeymoon my company was bought out. We are doing well now and have learned a lot. So my advice is pray about it and you will know in your hearts what is right and if you feel God is telling to wait a little that is what you should do. I would not change the hard times for anything because it taught us to trust each other but more importantly has shown us that God is in control even when it seems like there cant possibly be a tomorrow. so take it for what its worth and good luck with the wedding planning

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Re: Marriage Question

Postby chris_k » Wed Mar 28, 2012 11:23 am

Don't get married.

Coke and strippers is cheaper.
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Marriage Question

Postby talltimber » Tue May 08, 2012 11:05 am

Lol. True, but ages you much faster.
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby kyle916 » Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:12 pm

if you know in your heart that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, do it. for us men, the marriage and especially the wedding is to make the woman happy. i couldn't wait to marry my wife. been married long time now. my only regret is spending so much on the wedding and ring. but it made her happy. women like all that big dream wedding stuff.

also, my cousin was waiting to get married until she and her guy graduated college and paid off bills. tragically she passed away in her early 20's when they were together and they never got a chance to get married. so, you never know what life will bring. embrace love.
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby Slack Tide » Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:13 am

Way too young......
"I've been left for dead before but I'll still fight on, don't wait up, leave the light on, I'll be home soon"
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby JuniorPre 360 » Thu Sep 13, 2012 1:02 pm

I got married when I was 23 and my wife has 18 and 1 month. She was engaged in high school. We are now both going to Weber State University for our degrees. We knew a lot could change in 2 years as well. So we went to the temple and got hitched. Sure life is tough and we may have been young and dumb, but we're learning a lot and growing up together. We both work 40 hours a week and take 12 credit hours and pay for our own schooling. During the summer we work on a farm for extra money. I do not have one single regret. Her father was pissed when he heard the news of the wedding but he's never really around so it didn't matter. I say if you know it's right, go for it. But I'll throw out the advice my father told me… "You'll always be alright as long as you are willing to work." Keep a job and get it done.
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Re: Marriage Question

Postby tilley » Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:58 pm

Agree with Decoy. You will be fine. Wants vs. needs. You really do need much less than you you want. Best of Luck and you do sound like a decent caring man.We need more like you.
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