Depression

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Depression

Postby goldhunter470 » Wed Sep 20, 2006 8:42 pm

I wasn't sure where to put this but it ends with a spiritual experience. So here we go.

About seven months ago I had to shut down my business. Expenses got too high and I was losing money everyday. The debt kept mounting and the pressure to do something was mounting. I was facing lawsuits, repossesion, and foreclosure. Life was getting pretty bad. I was even considering suicide. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted the pain to end. My marriage was falling apart and I was rejecting my family and friends. I just didn't care.

Well one day the wife left me. 2 kids, a house, bankruptcy, and a mind that was in no shape to handle it all. I did a lot of talking with my mother and she suggested professional help. I called my doctor the next day. He put me on an antidepressant and suggested counseling.

I am proud to say I have turned my life around. I'm a happily divorced father of 2 wonderful boys who live with me full time and I enjoy every day I spend with them.

My spiritual experince happened 2 weeks ago. It wasn't in a church rather it was in the wooded valley of the Sheyenne River in SE ND. I became one with my surroundings. Not one unpleasant thought entered my head. All I could think about was becoming part of it all and taking down a deer. I can't really explain what happened out there, but it was truly incredible. Very uplifting.

The main reason I put this up here is to raise awareness of depression. It really is never too late. It's not a sign of weakness. It is something you have no control over. This is why some people turn to suicide. It is the only thing they have control over. Their life is meaningless and it's the only option. If I can help one person, I feel I have saved a life. If you or someone you know is depressed, get help...... please. Whether it's through religion, family or professional, get help. I hope someone who is going through this will read this and realize that you are not alone.

Sorry to get preachy but my feelings are very strong about this subject and I hope to help.
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Postby 870 » Thu Sep 21, 2006 3:25 pm

You weren’t preachy at all, thanks for sharing it with us. I’m glad that your life has turned around and things are working out for you. I’m glad to see you made the right decision and didn’t go through with the thoughts of suicide. How tragic it would have been for your children.

Not having gone through what you have experienced I truly can’t say I understand what you went through. You have shared the same thing I’ve heard time and time again when it comes to thoughts of suicide; you close yourself off from those that can help.

I totally agree there is help out there. The one person I can rely on every time for help who has never let me down is my savior Jesus Christ.

Again thanks for sharing what you have come through; it took a lot of courage to share. My hats off to you man. God bless :thumbsup:
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Postby goldhunter470 » Thu Sep 21, 2006 8:54 pm

I’m glad to see you made the right decision and didn’t go through with the thoughts of suicide. How tragic it would have been for your children.


The awful truth of it all is that at the time, I didn't care. At the time, I thought whether I lived or died was the only thing I had control over. This is an incredibly destructive physical disease. Most people think it's all mental. It's not in most cases. It's just a damn shame there is such a stigma attached to mental diseases in our society.

And thank you very much. I think it took a lot more courage to make that initial step than to tell my story. If I can help one person by telling my story, I will feel like what I've gone through was worth it!
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Postby 870 » Fri Sep 22, 2006 12:30 pm

I'm sure you have or will Take care Bro. :thumbsup:

When out on the road remember to keep an eye out for those who don't have one out for you :cool:
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Thanks

Postby Jay Jolicoeur » Sat Sep 23, 2006 10:04 am

I appreicate you sharing. I am starting a business on my own and things aren't great. I am about $800K in debt. I must say there are times of depression, but God reminds me that he is in control. That means that know matter what happens it is for his Glory. I think of Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

But there are many moments that I am in fear. I think about Lee Greenwoods song "If tomorrow all the things were gone I’d worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife.
I’d thank my lucky stars to be living here today,
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can’t take that away.
"

I try to keep things in perspective that we can start over and we will make it. It is hard. I appreciate you sharing your story because it brings great encouragement. If I can ever help please feel free to PM me and I will send you my number.
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Postby HuntingWife » Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:38 pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Gold.
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Postby AWOTIS » Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:53 pm

Happy to hear you you got some help having had bouts with depression myself i understand what your going through. Your experience out hunting makes me belive even more in the old saying that used to be on t-shirts some time ago "hunting its just not a matter of life or death its much more than that.". Some time its the little things that help us all along down the road of life and help us enjoy what we do have. :thumbsup:

happy hunting all , opening day 14 days out
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Postby goldhunter470 » Sun Sep 24, 2006 8:06 am

happy hunting all , opening day 14 days out


It was yesterday for me!!!! HA HA!! Just teasing.

Thank you everybody for your encouraging words. They trully do mean a lot. I went out ducking yesterday and for the first time in years, I REALLY enjoyed myself. I had a blast. I didn't fill my limit, but that wasn't important. Actually I unloaded my gun on 3 ducks that were about 20 yards in front of me and 3 ducks flew away!! I didn't care. It was just SO much fun to be out. I actually started a thread in the HH on Friday night talking about how I couldn't sleep. I really couldn't. I tried but failed! I wanted to go out this morning but when I looked at 3 AM I said no way. Anyway. Thanks again everyone and keep a close eye on your loved ones. The signs aren't always obvious. Make sure to let them know you love them and you will be there for them. It means more than you may know!!

Love,
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Postby h2ofwlr » Mon Oct 16, 2006 12:27 pm

goldhunter470 wrote:And thank you very much. I think it took a lot more courage to make that initial step than to tell my story. If I can help one person by telling my story, I will feel like what I've gone through was worth it!


Powerful testimony. In similar viewpoint of only a Cancer survivor knows what it is like, they can relate to a Cancer patient like no others can because they have been there too, or a plane crash survivor, or recovered alcoholic, etc... A persons own experience can be one of the greatest gifts they have to offer others The gift of HOPE and understanding because they too have been there.

Your spritiual awakening reminds me of a little saying that holds much truth who have been to whatever ones edge was and back. It goes: Religion is for those afraid to go to Hell, and Spirituality is for those that have been to Hell and back. :thumbsup:
The Audacity of Bull Crap.
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Hey I resemble that comment!!! Those are FIGHTING WORDS!!!
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Postby pappy » Wed Oct 18, 2006 7:28 pm

if you can meet with triumph and disater and treat those two imposters just the same.......


:thumbsup:

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Postby jpm49878 » Sun Nov 05, 2006 7:34 pm

wow! that is great that you turned your life around. i know what its like to be depressed, i suffer with it every day. i take a bunch of meds to help it. i tried to tell some people on the du website and they just laughed at me. saying get shock therapy, well i did that to no avail. i am glad there is a site like this. i am glad too that you have your kids, i too got divorced and i am raising my kids since 1995. my oldest is in drivers training. they both duck and deer hunt. i think it is them that keep me going.
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Postby dudejcb » Wed Feb 28, 2007 4:40 pm

You're not alone.

I lost 2 high paying jobs and was out of work 18 months. my father was killed in a hunting accident, my business went south after we invaded Iraq and we had to file bankruptcy after using up allour life savings. then to top it off, my in-laws had me falsely arrested twice... and disowned their daughter and my sons for sticking by me.

Luckily my wife didn't leave and our boys are healthy and pretty much fully grown, and they still like to spend time with me hunting and fishing. My brothers and sisters also stuck by us, but even so, over time, with all the things that life can deal you, before yo know it your clinically depressed. Money worries eat at you in the middle of the night, and suicide--made to look like an accident--might leave your family with enough money to get out of the hole... the unthinkable starts to seem plausible.

when I was young I didn't have much empathy for psychological problems, but I do now. anti depressants can bring relief and give one a chance to place things back into perspective. glad to hear your doing well. depression is a dark deep hole and spending time hunting, fishing, or just watching songbirds and squirrels is a good tonic. and, no matter how bad it gets, you never have to look far to find someone with real problems. time goes by, things change and improve, and we deal with the next set of challenges.

From who's been there and still working through it all, thanks and good luck. dude
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Re: Depression

Postby jaydogg » Wed May 02, 2007 6:15 pm

the feeling you have had in the social work world is called "naturally high" isn't that a good feeling. yes depression exists, I battle with it every day.




goldhunter470 wrote:I wasn't sure where to put this but it ends with a spiritual experience. So here we go.

About seven months ago I had to shut down my business. Expenses got too high and I was losing money everyday. The debt kept mounting and the pressure to do something was mounting. I was facing lawsuits, repossesion, and foreclosure. Life was getting pretty bad. I was even considering suicide. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted the pain to end. My marriage was falling apart and I was rejecting my family and friends. I just didn't care.

Well one day the wife left me. 2 kids, a house, bankruptcy, and a mind that was in no shape to handle it all. I did a lot of talking with my mother and she suggested professional help. I called my doctor the next day. He put me on an antidepressant and suggested counseling.

I am proud to say I have turned my life around. I'm a happily divorced father of 2 wonderful boys who live with me full time and I enjoy every day I spend with them.

My spiritual experince happened 2 weeks ago. It wasn't in a church rather it was in the wooded valley of the Sheyenne River in SE ND. I became one with my surroundings. Not one unpleasant thought entered my head. All I could think about was becoming part of it all and taking down a deer. I can't really explain what happened out there, but it was truly incredible. Very uplifting.

The main reason I put this up here is to raise awareness of depression. It really is never too late. It's not a sign of weakness. It is something you have no control over. This is why some people turn to suicide. It is the only thing they have control over. Their life is meaningless and it's the only option. If I can help one person, I feel I have saved a life. If you or someone you know is depressed, get help...... please. Whether it's through religion, family or professional, get help. I hope someone who is going through this will read this and realize that you are not alone.

Sorry to get preachy but my feelings are very strong about this subject and I hope to help.
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Postby goldhunter470 » Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:00 am

Well it has been about 8 months since I posted this topic so I figured I would come back and check it out. First off, thank you to everyone's response, openness and kindness. Just reading some of the support on here helps out greatly.

Well I am still divorced, which is a good thing. For both of us. I did have full custody of my two boys but we decided on a joint custody where the children will spend one week with me and one with her. They really do need her more in their life. They were begining to act more like me, which was not really a good thing!!! :rofl: I am still on my medication and will be on it for a really long time. But I'm ok with that as anyone with this condition should be. I have really moved on with my life. I still hate my job but I will be attending NDSU part time this fall to earn a civil engineering degree. If I've learned anything from 10 years of truck driving it's that I don't want to drive truck for another 10 years!!!! Things really have come around. It just took a lot of hard work and positive thinking. (and some medication!! lol)

Again, thank you to everyone who has takent the time to read this and even post words of support to someone you don't know. Take care my friends...... :thumbsup:

Peace,
Tyson
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