in need of advice

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in need of advice

Postby agengo02 » Mon Feb 05, 2007 8:28 pm

for the past 4 years there are only a handful of days that i have not had a drink of alcohol. this past years has been worse than the others. for about the last 4 months i have drank every day. call it pride or ego but i refuse to call myself an alcoholic, but at the same time i finally decided to regain control of my life. i am only 22 years old and i cant seem to stop drinking. most of the time it is by myself also. although when i go out i drink very exessively. i have been going out about 4 to 5 times a week. my routine has been wake up, drink about 6 beers, go to work, go to lunch, drink as many more beers i can drink in an hour, go home from work, drink beer and end the night with whiskey. on average i go through a 20 pack of bud light bottles every 2 or 3 days. this gets extremely expensive and even more so when im paying $3 per beer at the bar. well after another drunken binge on saturday night i decided to stop drinking all together. there have been too many forgotten and regretable nights. life is passing me by because i let it. ok enough dwelling on the bad, time for the good. this is my second day without drinking and it started out pretty good. i woke up and felt great! beautiful day outside, not craving a drink at all so i figured this would be easy and i wouldnt have any problems. well i get to work and immediately i start feeling crappy. my hands will not stop shaking, im sweating and hot, and my face got really pale. all of a sudden im realizing that this will be a bit harder and i should have stopped years ago. i think setting up some short and long term goals will help so here is what ive come up with. short term: no going to bars or clubs for a month. read the bible every night until i have read it cover to cover. work out and run at night. my long term goal will be to be able to control myself enough to have a beer with some friends every once in a while or drink some jack daniels and smoke a cigar with my dad when i visit my folks. right now its apparent that i do not have the willpower to stop with just one drink. thats why i am going cold turkey on alcohol. the problem is that i am always the life of the party and keeping everybody having a good time so i have already started to alienate myself from my friends. the only person i have told about all this is my co-worker because i was noticeably not myself at work and she really had to pick up my slack. she has been very supportive in listening and giving as much advice as she can. its really embarassing to be a 22 year old college student with the rest of my life ahead of me and having a problem that i can not control. my next step is to get some counceling from my priest at church. ive got to try to get back into going to church and praying because i think im going to have to do alot of that in the near future. well the advice i seek is from anybody that is either a recovering alcoholic or knows someone who is. how much longer until i can be normal again? ive got a bad feeling that its going to get worse before it gets better. i know there is no set time frame for these things, but i would like to hear how long it takes people. any questions/comments/advice is extremely appreciated. thanks guys.
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Postby ducksbuck » Tue Feb 06, 2007 10:42 am

Dude, I know how you feel. Realy I do! I was 20 and flunked out of college, and couldn't hold a job. All I did (and all I cared about) was drink. In college, everyone else labled me as alcoholic, but relief didn't come till I accepted the title myself.

You are not alone. Thousands deal with this illness every year. I think it is very safe to say, that there is no cure. There is no way of reversing this thing back to a social status. Though there is no cure, there is recovery. I very much believe myself to be a recovered alcoholic. I can say recovered, because I no longer crave or think about drinking. Drinking has no hold on my life today.

Here is a link to how I found recovery. My life is awesome now and I owe it all to God and AA. I have been off ALL alcohol and drugs for 8 yrs.

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Media=PlayFlash

Recovery seams like a scary road, and untill it hurts so bad that you will do what ever it takes, recovery isn't possible. I will pray that you reach that point.
Buck

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Postby agengo02 » Tue Feb 06, 2007 1:50 pm

hey thanks man i really appreciate it. yesterday was just a really bad day, but im thinking that today will be a good one. i actually got 8 solid hours of sleep instead of tossing and turning for a couple of hours. i went ahead and told one of my closest friends (also a drinking buddy) and he actually got mad. it was later explained to me that he just thought that i wouldnt hang out anymore or that i would judge him for drinking. but in reality i envy him and my other friends because they can just drink a beer and be content, they dont have to drink until they are cut off or run out of money. its gonna be a long rocky road ahead but i really appreciate you leaving me positive comments. i think im going to use this forum as sort of a journal so i can write down all my frustrations or praises. im thinking that will help. thanks again man.
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Postby 870 » Wed Feb 07, 2007 1:53 pm

My hats off to man, I was about your age when I came face to face with my drinking problem. I had a wife and an18mth old daughter neither wanted anything to do with me. It came down to one Sat morning waking up with a hang over and my wife chewing on me. Just before she slammed the bedroom door she told me “ either you start going to church with me or we’re going to divorce court” So after yelling to her and telling her what I thought of Christians and church I started to think, what do I love more drinking and parting or my family.

So after a while I crawled out of the bedroom and said I was sorry and that I would try it her way. I knew I needed help in a big way and didn’t know witch way to turn, so I kept diving into drugs and booze. I was running from my responsibility as a husband and father I was scared and immature. So by drinking and drugging I tried to escape and hide. That only made it worse, witch I guess brought about the end of the whole thing, I hit rock bottom.

To make a long story short I became born-again and haven’t looked back since. That was over 24 years ago. With the Lords help I stopped drinking and the drugs and now have three great kids. This July we will be married 26 years. I still wake up from time to time with my wife chewing on me, but it’s not about my drinking.

The bible says “that Gods not a respecter of persons” that means He doesn’t show partiality, what He has done for others, and me He will do for you. He loves you more than you will ever know. As you get closer to Him, He will get closer to you He wants to help you and go through this with you. My prayers are with you and not to sound too preachy, but the Bible also says to “ trust in the Lord in all of your ways and lean not on your own understanding” and He will make your path straight. We’re here for yeah man! :thumbsup:
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Postby agengo02 » Wed Feb 07, 2007 2:30 pm

thanks man. i told my mom the situation and she had no idea how bad it was and i guess i really didnt either until i decided to quit. im only at day 4 but im feeling better. she told me that God only helps those who help themselves and im seeing that it is truer every day. the more i want to stop, the less i think about drinking. i think the true test will be my first time out with friends and not drinking. it will be next weekend at mardi gras and im actually excited to see what its like being sober out there. and im pretty sure that i wont miss the insanely long lines and $5 beers! haha thanks again guys.
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Postby thaner » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:49 pm

Don’t for a minute think you are alone in this.

You’re doing great! Trust in the Lord and that will do you more good than anything. He has power beyond your comprehension to help you. Think about the AA if you have any relapses. Don't plan to be a social drinker. I am sorry, but I have been there and if you have an addictive personality you can't play with it.

I was your age and addicted to more things than I would like to admit. I wasn't quite over the edge on alcohol probably because I was doing too many things between drinks to keep the buzz going. I got to where you are and said enough is enough and got down to business with God. That was the only way out for me. Life is not easy, but it can be good with God in it.

There is a lot to do in life and all that junk really gets in your way of being successful in all areas. Get high on life and don't look back. I don't even think about drinking or the other stuff and could care less about it now, but it took some time. It's not been as long since I gave up the last addiction, tobacco, but I don't even thing about that anymore. That was the toughest battle of all and I never though I would stop thinking about a smoke, but one day I realized it had been a long time since I thought about it and it didn't sound good anymore.

You do need to make some changes in the short term with where you go and who you hang out around. You can't be around the thing your battling until your are well on your way and even then it's not a good idea. I gave up some friends and the ones that understood and were true stayed around, but on my terms and in places I could go without temptation. Now a few of the ones that were left are born again, clean and smoke free also. Some unexpected bonuses!
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Postby MICHI-GANDER » Fri Feb 23, 2007 6:34 pm

My best advice would be to steer clear of Mardi Gras. Hate to say it, but that would ge the toughest place in the world to go and not cave in to drinking and partying.

Don't take this the wrong way, I say in with true concern for you and your goals.

Oops, I just noticed its already Mardi Gras. I hope you fared very well. But in case you didn't. Don't be ashamed to pick up and try again.

God bless,

Brian
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Postby Admin2 » Sat Feb 24, 2007 4:33 pm

Try A.A. It is a spritual based program. I know a few people that were drinkers like you described yourself, they do not drink any longer and have turned their lives around for the better. Look up Alcoholics Anonymous in any phone book, most metro areas have it listed as I recall them talking about it. Serious drinkers often go to a detox facility as the withdrawl can be pretty bad for some guys and gals, life threatening as a matter of fact.

I wish the best for you. :yes:


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Postby 870 » Sat Feb 24, 2007 6:33 pm

how have you been A2 ?
"As long as there are Flyways and their coming our way, you'll find us right here"
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Postby agengo02 » Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:30 pm

well last tuesday i was eating with a couple of buddies at chilis. i decided that i had done well with going 3 weeks without a sip of beer so i ordered one. well one turned into 5, then we went to a bar and i drank 3 pitchers and a couple of shots. woke up the next morning and i realized i wasnt ready yet so now im back on the wagon i guess. it was weird, i had great expectations when i ordered and was proud of myself for going so long without. after i started drinking though i just slipped back into old habbits. im definately going the rest of lent without drinking and im going to stay not drinking until i am absolutely positive that i can control it. oh well it was a pretty good learning experience i guess and it really brought me back down to reality that its gonna take more time.
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Postby 870 » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:22 pm

Well bro have you got back on the right road you were once on ? Or are you still believing you can have a drink with the boys and everything will be OK?

Hows that working for yeah ? :huh:

Haven't heard from yeah in some time and I was just wondering, I'm not trying to slam yeah, but when I was trying to quit drinking, it didn't work for me :no:

That's why it took three years for me to quit, lets hear from yeah :thumbsup:
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Postby agengo02 » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:29 pm

ya i havent had a problem since that tuesday so i think im good. been going to bars and playing pool and stuff and havent even wanted a drink! id say things are going pretty good!
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Postby 870 » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:43 pm

WAY TO GO MAN :thumbsup: I've been thinking of yeah and hoping things were going ok for yeah. If the time comes and you ever need some one to talk to about it I'm here for yeah. Again way to go :thumbsup:
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Postby Admin2 » Thu May 03, 2007 7:57 am

870 wrote:how have you been A2 ?


Huh? :huh: I just saw this, sorry, I have not been in this forum for quite a while. I am doing just fine, thanks.


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