Graig's List Ad ...

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Graig's List Ad ...

Postby Brydog » Tue Jun 08, 2010 6:52 pm

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message..

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc..).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer God than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
~Stephen Roberts
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Re: Graig's List Ad ...

Postby OrangeLake » Wed Jun 09, 2010 7:05 am

Absolutely Fantastic!! It's hilarious to see a change in a criminals face when they realize YOU have a weapon. :lol3:
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Re: Graig's List Ad ...

Postby huntall6 » Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:11 am

i havent laughed that hard in a long time :clapping: . thank you for that. :beer:
steve-o wrote:Fight like a kid and you will never lose.


vincentpa wrote: My hairdresser is gay.
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Re: Graig's List Ad ...

Postby daffy... » Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:44 pm

oh yes, the craigslist classic. i read that about a year ago... funny its still there. craigslist is a anti firearm site
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Re: Graig's List Ad ...

Postby devildog28 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 11:35 am

Fake
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Re: Graig's List Ad ...

Postby carolinagreenhead » Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:03 am

True or not...that is hilarious. True classic. Great post!
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Re: Graig's List Ad ...

Postby waterfowlhunter » Mon Jun 21, 2010 8:47 am

This has been posted there several times with slightly different wording but always funny. :thumbsup:
"A free people ought to be armed" George Washington 1790

‘For those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither Liberty nor safety.’ —Ben Franklin.”
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