There is only one answer for the original question, and only one person knows it and that person would be God!!!
I can only accept, and try to understand gods will, even if there is times of doubt. Best example I can give is my wife. Before I met her she lost a little girl at birth. It would devastate me, and I'm sure it did her for a while, but now when asked how she dealt with it, she will say that God had much better plans for her, and needed her in heaven.
Not for real sure why your hung up on the question so much, unless you have had tragedy with your kids, or know of someone who has. IMO, it is kind of like a test of faith, if someone you know, or love is ill, or in trouble, how far are they ,or you willing to go to help them get out of trouble, or become welll. Would you give your income to a homeless person so they could eat, would you give your kidney to a person you did'nt know. I would'nt, I might give someone money to help them out, or ask for prayer for somebody ill.
That is why we need God, and jesus. We do wrong every day, and if we confess are sins, and ask for forgivness, and do are best to follow gods will. We shall be saved.
If you truly question gods will, at times and honestly want an answer. Do as someone said here earlier. Go to a church, lake where ever it may be for ya, that is peaceful, and quiet. Sit down and talk to God, and ask him for answer. You must be sincere, and open to it, and I gaurantee you will either get your answer, or be at peace with the topic. I speak from experience. Almost a year ago my little boy was in a hospital, having open heart surgery, and had some issues afterwords. Was very scary for a while, and all I wanted to know was why him, what did he do. I went down to the chapel, and prayed like I have never prayed before, and also talked to God. And let me tell you he answered, without saying a word. At that moment I had such a feeling of relief,happiness, and calmness just rip right through me, that I knew he was there with me. Pure awesomeness, went back up stairs and not long after everything was alright. Can I explain it NO WAY, but I tell you it was real, and will never again ask why God would do something, no matter how wrong it may seem. Good luck in your quest.
Any day in the outdoor's is better than at work