(1) What does the average Auburn player get on his SATs?
(2) What do you get when you put 32 Kentucky cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
(3) How do you get an Alabama cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push.
(4) How do you get a University of Mississippi graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
(5) How do you know if a Arkansas football player has a girlfriend?
There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup
(6) Why is the Mississippi State football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
(7) What are the longest three years of a University of Tennessee
football player's life?
His freshman year.
(8) How many Alabama freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?
Oxford Mississippi. He knew that the police would never look at U of M
for a Heisman Trophy winner.
10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and
picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.