http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/w ... 6722510529
A COUPLE'S dream wedding day was delayed after a man stormed into the church having just hacked his testicles off.
The vicar and florist were putting finishing touches to All Saints Church, in Hutton, east of London, ahead of the ceremony at the weekend, when the blood-soaked man entered the church, The Brentwood Weekly News reports.
A friend of the bride and groom, who did not wish to be named, turned up for the wedding at around 12.45pm to find a police car outside.
He was told by the vicar that guests were not allowed to enter the church as a man had injured himself.
The guest said the vicar told him "the man had chopped his testicles off with a pair of scissors and was going berserk, chucking chairs around. I'm surprised he didn't pass out.
"When I went in the church, I saw something on the floor which I could only describe as flesh, which I thought was part of his arm but that was one of his testicles."
The police had wanted to close the church because it was a crime scene but the wedding went ahead soon after, with the bride none the wiser to the bizarre events.
"There was a bit of an atmosphere," the witness said. "The bride didn't know anything about it, I'm sure she does now. But it took place. I'm surprised the vicar held it all together."
My brother and I used to say that drownin' in beer was like heaven, eh? Now he's not here, and I've got two soakers... this isn't heaven. This sucks!