It has been drawn to my attention that recently we have been bombarded with out of state hunters enjoying the benefits that our state has to offer. Some have gone over the line, yet some have been perfectly ok in what they have done. However, we have a much larger problem on our hands.
It has been drawn to my attention that aliens have begun waterfowl hunting in our great state. This monstrosity may not bother you, but not only are they killing OUR ducks in OUR state, but they are doing so with methods that we cannot employ.
Hence, they land their space ships in fields when putting out decoys and manipulate the crops, scattering seed everywhere. This is clearly in violation of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act and causes goofy lookin fields to fly over. Not only this, but they never ask for permission and typically use the farmers body as a host where all the farmer says whenever someone ask if they can hunt their field is "no".
Furthermore these aliens are using laser guns which I can guarantee you is not shooting steel shot. I have covered it in one of my other post that we can no longer use laser guns for killing pterodactyls, so what makes these jack holes think they can use it on ducks? Not only that, but it is affirmative that those guns are causing the sudden bout of spring like temperatures in the region.... SOB's
Finally, the aliens are using live decoys.... Have you been sitting in the blind sippin on coffee to see ducks coming and you send out a greeting call? Maybe a whistle? Maybe nothing? Only to have the "ducks" flare about 30 yards outside of your decoys? Well boys, those are the alien's live decoy ducks that are used to avoid your decoys and human's at all cost. They use their homing devices to round up the other birds to take them to where the aliens are hunting. Usually on wind farms and trespassing on private property. Although the aliens have permission to hunt on government refuges......
So what do we do? Call the game warden? Call the sheriff? Call the Feds? Nope.... Call the men in black. Jay said he knows about the problem and is trying to correct it.....
Arise, Kill, and Eat. Acts 10:13
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Philp. 4:13
I apologize to those I have yet to offend. Wait just a little longer and I will get around to you too!!