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KS...Do you listen to the the "Bob and Tom" show? Just wondering.
Good luck with your firefighting job by the way. I did firefighting in the navy and when I got out. I know it is not an easy thing to do. The best to you.
 

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A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment.
As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the Pearly Gates into Heaven. Others though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit.

But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan what he was doing.

"Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering. Why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the Fires of Hell with the others?"

"Oh those souls . . ." Satan groaned.

"They're all from Erie PA... They're
still too cold and wet to burn."

This would be funny if it was not true.
 

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I hope this one is not already on here....

A woman bought a fancy new car, and returned the next day complaining that she couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. Listen to this! He said. "Nelson!"

The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued....and On The Road Again came from the speakers.

The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she would say, "Beethoven", she'd get beautiful classical music, and if she said, Beatles", she'd get one of their awesome songs.

One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them. "A** HOLES!" She yelled.....

The French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Michael Moore, backed up by John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums and Bill Clinton on sax.
 

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Figure this topic needed a bump.....

A professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks them, "How many folk here believe in ghosts?"

About 80 students raise their hands. "That's a good start," says the professor, "For those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good," continues the professor, "I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

15 students raise their hands.

"That's a great response," remarks the impressed professor, "has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

3 students raise their hands.

"Brilliant. But let me ask you one question further...

Have any of you ever been intimate with a ghost?"

One of his students from a ******* state raises his hand.

The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed that.

You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience." The ******* student replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor asks, "Well, tell us what it's like to have made love to a ghost."

The student replies, "Ghost?!? Dang it!... I thought you said goats."
 

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender notices that the guy seems down and out. After a few nore drinks the bartender asks the guy what is wrong. The guy tells the bar tender...I have a great wife and great kids. I have a boat and, I can hunt and fish all I want. My job is good and have one of the best trucks on the market. The bartender then asks...what are you so upset about? The guys askes; "Have you been to DHC lately?"...."Why yes I have." He replys. "Did you see gooseboys avitar?" The Bartender starts to drink heavily in the hope he can forget the image of it also.

:mrgreen: Yeah, I am kidding...but it is creepy.
 
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