Duck Hunting Forum banner
1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
899 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving
that you are blind - that you should know five things:

1 The bartender is a blonde girl.

2 The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3 I'm a 6 feet tall, 180-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4 The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.

5 The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, Nah ,Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
887 Posts
A guy goes into a bar to have a drink.
He see's two young, attractive ladies talking at a table.
He goes over and say's, "can I buy you two ladies a drink?"
No thanks, is the reply.
Aww, come one he says.
No thanks, leave us alone.
Ladies I just wanna buy you drink.
Look mister, we don't want a drink and don't wanna talk to men.
Why not, he asks.
We're lesbians.
He says "whats that?"
We only sleep with women, is the reply.
The man yells out "hey bar keep, three beers for us lesbians!"
:laughing:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
887 Posts
What do you call a smart blonde?
A yellow lab.

How does a blonde turn on the lights after sex?
She opens the car door.

Why do blondes have big belly buttons?
Because blonde guys are stupid to.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out all the W's.

How do you know when a blonde has been on you computer?
Theres white out on the screen.

Why was the blonde staring at the can of frozen OJ?
It said concentrate.

How do you drown a blonde?
You tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and a smart blonde are walking down the street! Whats wrong with this?
Theres no such thing as a smart blonde.

Whats brunette and smells bad?
A blonde doing a hand stand.

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are sitting at the OB's office
noticably pregnant. The brunette says I know I'm having boy. The red head says, how do you know that? The brunette replies, I was on the bottom. So the red head replies, then I'm having a girl because I was on top. With this the blonde bursts into tears. The other two women ask, whats wrong? The blonde cries out, I'm having puppies!

:salude:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
887 Posts
What do you get when you mix a lesbian with a dinosaur?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
A lickalotapuss!
:laughing:
What's black and blue, covered in blood and lies in a ditch?
A brunette thats told one too many blonde jokes!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
887 Posts
Two women, a brunette and a blonde were eating breakfast at a diner. A cell phone rings several times. The brunette asks, "why don't you answer your phone?" The blonde says, "it can't be mine. No one knows I'm here".
:salude:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
887 Posts
A brunette and blonde are driving down the road at 90mph. The brunette looks in her mirror and says "oh s**t, theres a cop". The brunette tells the blonde to look out her window, "is his flashers on?" The blonde replys "there on, there off, there on, there off, there on, there off".
:thumbsup:

A real one.
A trooper stops a women for speeding. She thinks she'll sweet talk him and get out of the citation. The trooper walks up to the window, and the women says "hi, are you selling any tickets to your ball?". The trooper says "lady, troopers don't have balls!". She laughs and he walks back to his car and leaves.
:laughing:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,854 Posts
A blonde lady gets pulled over by a blonde lady police officer. The officer asks the blonde for her license and insurance info. The lady digs and digs to no avail. Finally the officer asks if she has any photo id. The lady goes back to looking and opens her makeup container that has a mirror. She says Ah I found one. She hands the mirror to the blonde officer, and the officer says why didn't you tell me you were a police officer? I would have let you go a long time ago.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
887 Posts
My brother in-laws wife is a blonde and lives in Los Angelas. We were in LA about two weeks ago and we were sitting at my mother in-laws kitchen table talking about dogs. They've been looking at getting a new dog and brought up labs as a possibility. I told her that labs are great family dogs and are great hunting dogs. (might as well been speaking German to her at this point) She asks, "why is that". I didn't really know how to reply. They are retrievers, they retrieve downed birds and such after the birds been shot. The blonde reply was "ohhhh, that's why they call them labrador retrievers". I about fell out of the chair laughing. She didn't know what was so funny!
Not a joke, but still a funny blonde moment.
:salude:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
316 Posts
there a 2 gay guys and 2 lesbian in a buring house. which ones get out first?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the lesbians, they get out lickety split, while the gay guys are too busy packing the fudge.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top