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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Jeff Foxworthy on Kansas

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each
year because it's the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Kansas.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live
in Kansas.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you might live in Kansas.


1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-70 for the weekend. 2. You
measure distance in hours. 3. You know several people who have hit a
deer more than once. 4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
day and back again. 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You see people wearing
camouflage at social events (including weddings). 7. You install security
lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 8. You carry
jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them. 9.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 10.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction. 12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a
deer next to your blue spruce. 13. You were unaware that there is a
legal drinking age. 14. Down South to you means Oklahoma. 15. A brat is
something you eat. 16. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new
pole shed. 17. You go out to a tail gate party every Friday. . 19. You
have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 20. You find 0
degrees "a little chilly." 21. You actually understand these jokes, and you
forward them to all your Kansas friends.

2,681 Posts
Wow, that sounds exactly like the one "you know you're a Minnesotan if:", htat has been paying frequent visits to my inbox over the last few years. Sounds like Minnesotans and Kansians are cut from the same cloth! :getdown: well, the same except for going west on I-70 and a few others....

PS Minnesota has more of the coldest temps in the nation. So that can be struck from the list. Even though he copied are list, Jeff Foxworthy is still plenty cool.
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