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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hey all, i am sure i am not the only one who received this but i thought i would share....

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
>
>
>What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
>Juan on Juan
>
>What is a Yankee?
>The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>
>What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
>The position of the dirt bag
>
>Why is divorce so expensive?
>Because it's worth it.
>
>What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>Doughnuts?
>
>Why is air a lot like sex?
>Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
>
>What do you call a smart blonde?
>A golden retriever.
>
>What do attorneys use for birth control?
>Their personalities.
>
>What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
>45 lbs
>
>What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
>45 minutes
>
>What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>
>Why do men want to marry virgins?
>They can't stand criticism.
>
>What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
>After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
>
>What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
>The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
>
>Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
>Because they have cotton balls.
>
>
>What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
>"Are you sure it's mine?"
>
>Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>Mace will do that to you.
>
>Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
>Everyone has the same DNA.
>
>Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>Breasts don't have eyes.
>
>Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
>He walks around saying "Yo."
>
>Why do drivers' education classes in ******* schools use the car only
>on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>
>
>What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
>A speech impediment.
>
>What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
>They're hiring.
>
>What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
>along with... "a recipe".
>
>How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
>Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>
>What's the difference bet ween a northern fairytale and a southern
>fairytale?
>A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
>begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this crap."
 

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:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: breathing

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

:thumbsup:

C Dubb
 

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did you get those from the fuge??
 
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