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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Only in Louisiana.

You gotta love this lawyer - it's too good not to share!
Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan
would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property
being offered as collateral.

The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three
months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the
following reply (Actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note
that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment
the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we
must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral
property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary
to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter): "Your letter
regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have
title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application.
I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those
working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the
U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.
For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land
prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right
of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of
Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus,
who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the
Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and
almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the
blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.
Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the
Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world
called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins
date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA.
I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have
our damn loan?"

The loan was approved.
 

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The way the word lawyer is spelled in the topic, it rhymes with sewer... by no accident I bet. :laughing:

This next one is off of NoDak Outdoors a sister site to DHC, it is of course a lawyer joke.

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out! .
He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.

After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc?
Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation!"
 
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