This sounds 100% like my place. A dog will learn quickly who actually enforces and who doesn't. My dad barely knows what the commands are, so Annie does what she pleases for him, but if I tell her to sit she will, and she will keep sitting while I throw a bumper and bring it back on my own. Dog's learn what to expect so you do need to have everybody on board like you said. The dog will still listen to you, but if it ignores the wife and kids that dog is now second in command around the house and that isn't right..... 
